a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Getting ready.......

The camper is on. Now we are packing the stereo equipment. We have an awesome system only a recording studio can match what we have. I can play anything and it is live and better than live. No puny ear buds for me! I have chosen my travel CD the sound track from "My Name Is Khan" it reminds me on why we are leaving the deep conservative religious right wring south that is so cheap to live in and heading to the wild cold, expensive, northeast. I test drove it yesterday and it did well in traffic on the freeway. So Shah Rukh Khan thank-you for a great movie. I only wish the ending were true and we were not still in danger from the GOP who wish us in internment camps or dead & the Democrats who lost the ideals of freedom and liberty. No one running the government is capable from clerk we have had to deal with to the elected prima donnas who have no idea what it takes to grocery shop, pay the rent  and monthly bills or find a doctor who does not charge $150 for an office visit( 10 minutes or less of his time).
So the Magical America Tour leaves in a month and we are so NOT ready!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Longest Journey Begins with.....

someone stealing a brass coupling from the man putting the camper shell on the pick-up truck and little heater for the cats. How low can a person go? We are packing the house and planing the route, looking for motels that will let our crated cats spend the night in our rooms. We ask no discounts but only a chance. We have done a good thing...we have taken in stray cats and nurtured them. All are spayed or neutered, all have their vaccinations. All eat better than we do (and when I score the nips I make sure it is the good stuff). We have done this over the years and we love those who still live, we miss those who have died. We celebrate their lives as well lived & happy.So now we need to plan a route and pack the house and see which cats crate will fit in which vehicle. We have 22 cats: Frosty*, Jedi, Sidney, Angela, Rajni*, Sherin*, Farida, K2, Tommi, K3, Jenny, Punkee, Raji, Douglas, Nelson, Fredrika (aka binty batuta)Scotsman*, Inky*, Baber*, Amber*, Scholar*,& Shaherazade*. the ones with * are from the early 1990s. So we begin our journey of 2500 miles with one step and some one put us behind 3 days by stealing a brass coupling from the shop where our camper shell is being put on( It was one of his customers! and one wonders why stealing is such a nasty crime!) And that is why we have cats!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Invented Memories

In 2006 my life turned inside out for a second time. This time was serious... and personal. It was like my house burned down and everyone I knew died and only ashes were left. I hid inside my mind and pulled the rags around me to keep the storm's stinging rain from cutting my skin further. The rock wall I had built had been bombed and scarcely two stones were on top of each other. Try as I might, I could barely stack a few on top before the next bomb went off. The wind blew cold, the rain was daggers of ice piercing my heart and slicing my mind into usable sections. My whole life; my whole lifetime of memories; of activities, of secrets and friendships; hopes and dreams, died and was not just left to be buried but the body dragged in the streets until my head, arms, feet were ripped off, while their laughter ruptured my ears.
It is now 2012 and the storm has calmed. More bodies were found in the ashes but I am less inclined to be affected. I am able to walk forward and not look back. However everyone should have a few memories to reminisce about on quiet evenings, when a favorite song is played, or a scent wafts through the air and touches the neural receptors. Something need to be recalled. Each day I reinvent my past to create memories so when I hear that song or smell that scent something comes to mind some nice pleasant memory. Of course that song is not the same one, nor is the scent something from "reality past". Reality past is so painful I can become K-Pax, and I do not want to waste one second of this life I have now, for I could die the very next minute; and I wish my memories to bring me comfort in my finals seconds of life. This is the only life I have and I can't bother with the real of my past. No, no that would be stupid and wrong. Will my stories I tell you of my times when we lived in Rome over the bakery, went to the Colosseum to feed the cats; or that autumn and winter I lived in the bedsitter in a run down part of London...So many years ago be lies?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Stealth Virus Attack & More

After a lovely Valentine's Day I got a vertigo attack. I have had it before. It is a huge inconvenience. The first time it sent me to the ER. It lay dormant for a while and flared in 2006 sending me to the ER again. I now have the only medications that help it. I swear by L-lysine, Only I ran out for a week and did not take any. L-Lysine is suppose to suppress the virus from dividing and it does...at least with those I know who take it. I read about it in Life Magazine in the 1960s. I dread this on the road. We will be driving for 5 days with the fur babies to our new old home in Maine and the trip is a hard one. I will be in my car with cats, and spouse will be in his truck with cats. Finding lodging for the night is the hard part. It will be in March and the weather can go anyway bad to good. I can not believe how many people have said to leave them here! Some of the cats are 19 years old! What kind of human being would abandon an elder of the family to the elements?
 Here is our projected route: San Antonio to Baton Rouge, La; to Memphis, Ten to Knoxville Ten
( Tennessee is a long state!) to Winchester Va, to Willkes-Barre Pa, to Auburn Ma then to Milbridge Maine. Which should be the last move before the grave yard. We need Pet Friendly motels and I worry about bedbugs too! I always leave the room cleaner than I get it. Only 5 cats have never traveled by car for any distance. The rest are seasoned travelers...I hope they remember that! We will need internet connections since he will be teaching an online class, and I will update everyday. By the way He will driving a Ford Pickup truck and I have a Toyota Corolla.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Sunday Very Cold Again!

I hate this weather too. It is too hot most of the year, but winter it is warm muggy one day and then 38 the next! We have begun Valentines Day early.
I have been watching a series about Mirza Ghalib a poet, or rather one of the greatest poets ever from pre-India Indian subcontinent 1820-1860s. The British were even more evil than we are now. And that is saying a lot!
 Since I used to teach literature and poetry, I love good poetry. And I can ay from an expert point of view that Urdu poetry is superior to English poetry. Not many westerners have read or heard poetry from the Indian subcontinent. It is mostly sung there and even poems 700 years old are still recorded by todays singers. Urdu is a sublime language, the nuance, the delicate turn of emotion into a word, the depth of feelings I have never encountered in English. I take a sentence or two to explain the two words in a couplet of Ghalib, however that also needs a footnote to explain the idioms. To be fair a lot of people need to have the English idioms explained since "awesome" has been debased to a non word like wow.
On another topic. or Change of Subject(COS) I have noticed that a lot of people are not happy being a people/human. We are so wrapped up in some creation of "otherness" to one's person that it looks like we are not comfortable in our skin and must decorate and change the permanent appearance of our features. Just a passing thought and not worth much. I do know I love the escape of science fiction. This is a world of pain caused on purpose and inflicted suffering by design of men. How long will it take to care enough about life to let others live and not get in their face? When we care for the already born people then I will listened to the pro-life people talk about the sanctity of life. Which life is not sacred?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Tuesday less cold

The hail of Friday night brought a chilled weekend. I have discovered a nice alternative to flannel sheets which good ones are expensive.( My house in South Texas is not centrally heated and the freaking little space heater has a cord 15 inches long so it gets to no plug but the one in the hall.) I folded a twin size blanket( of which I have many since I inherited them from my mother) length wise and placed it at the near foot of the bed under the top sheet, stuck my feet between the blanket. Also there is no reason to not just put the blankets as bottom and top sheet. The fluffiness of the blanket warms quickly and feels warmer when I slide into the bed.
I have been ripping and purging magazines. Now I am mustering up the courage to just freaking toss the rest unlooked at in the trash. How many recipes do I need?  How many ideas do I need? If I was saving for collages (which I sorta was) but I am moving now and I need to pack useful stuff not hundreds of pounds of magazines. So Do I Need these? No I can cook. I can veg any recipe. I already have 12 recipes for cookies all different for the holidays. I have saved what I found useful as in colors and decor since the house need a major decorating work and some reno. Why am I sentimental to a magazine? Since I have entered a new age decade I need to reinvent me again- to make this last act of my life happy, secure and fun. If I can unperson a relative why can't I toss a freaking Martha Stewart Living or Old Vegetarian Times? This is a problem and I will toss them and not look back. sigh and deep breath......

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Saturday was nicely spent. In the afternoon we watched a movie. I do recommend it to adults...7 Khoon Maaf Indian but not the typical bollywood song and dance. I thrilling movie. Naseeruddin Shah is in it, he  looks like Leonard Cohen and should play him in a movie. It is at netflix and is worth the watch. Priyanka Chopra is the star she is great too. Got 5 boxes packed today and another 40 pound bag of former magazines tossed. Had a hail storm and cold weather came in on Saturday night. Friday the car A/C was on and my hair was sticking to my neck today I am chilled. I hate this weather now I have a sore throat from trying to get pictures of the hail...they are still in the camera but were the size of marbles. Crashed and banged down for over an hour...poor birdies get bonked out of their trees! Stayed in today and worked on the projects we have this week. Stayed in the 40s outside, was 78 with a heat index of 85 on Friday.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Liberation part one the Magazine.

It is very liberating to be realistic about my life and what is coming. I am ripping out fewer pages but being realistic about what I am really going to want to do. I need to repair and decorate a nice large home. I need to plant a garden...vegetables and flowers. I will bake and cook somethings, but I will not try every recipe that looks interesting and therefor it is tossed. I may get two very heavy boxes of magazines reduced to one slightly heavy box.
Today was a date day. We had to go downtown and I got lunch out. A big treat since we are thrifty people; eating out must be a treat and respected as such. We went our favorite Viet Nam restaurant, they have vegetarian food and I enjoyed it very much. I think I will able to recreate the Pho at home. It is a gloomy day but warm in the upper 70s. The breeze is hit and miss. When it is musical I like it the best. I have the most beautiful wind chime. It sounds like bells and distant music. I spurge on it 2 years ago and never once regretted the purchase. That is the secret to being thrifty. It is not spending that is important but wise spending that counts. That bang for the buck. We drove to the park and enjoyed watching the birds. The park is untidy but a real jewel here in San Antonio. I could be like Golden Gate Park( at least the one of my youth) if there was some vision and brains in the leadership of Texas and Texas cities. Truly after living here so long I am amaze that these politicians can walk and talk at the same time. But I get to leave and this warm muggy day will  be a dream in just a few months( and I may miss it who knows) I know I will not miss having wet hair all day! So the selective ripping apart of all my favorite magazines is still in progress. My paging thumb and shoulder ache. But I am going to a new life and want to have a fresh new age in place lifestyle since I am only getting older and I hope better and wiser.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Groundhog Day

I have stopped for the evening....this ravaging of magazines, when I noticed that I lost (misplaced) my gold pen...it was my high school graduation gift a Cross gold pen& pencil set, which was a wonderful gift and I cherish it. Well I misplaced it and went insane in the looking for it. I have always become obsessed with a thing that I can not find and then proceed to tear apart my life looking for it. I will not sleep, I can not relax until I have given up all hope that it is lost or I find it. I have lost 4 bracelets that still haunt me, 2 silver with carved jade charms, and a set one a plain heart link the other heart link with butterflies and flowers with gems. It has taken a toll on my mental peace these past years since I can remember the last time I wore them but not one second past that. However I can not recall which year or if I traveled that next season since I was doing a lot of travel -air and train. It was a 2 day trip between here and home and I made dozens over the past 7 years. I can't remember if I left them there...I have not been back since so I have no idea. I believe they are lost forever. So my groundhog events are looking for lost things. To spice up my insanity it is too warm and muggy, that makes me more insane. That is the base of insane for me and everything else adds to the rich patterns that swirl in my head and pour out and drip off my hair. (yes my husband knew where it was and showed me.....I have left it there for now)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Today I Began.

Today I did the unthinkable. I am throwing away magazines. I am going through my favorite save magazines and ripping them apart to save just the articles I am interested in. So far I have 30 pounds in the trash. And about 18 ounces of good articles on decorating and the odd recipe or two.
You see I am moving 2700 miles northeast. I will be going to a new climate, with four seasons: almost wintah, wintah, still wintah, and road construction.
Yes. folks, I am moving from deep south Texas to Maine. Everything I have to wear here will not be warm enough there unless I wear three days worth of Texas togs at the same time. In fact I am in shorts and a tank top now! All the decorating ideas need to produce a feeling of warmth and coziness. I am moving from a 1940s bungalow to a 110 year old New England gothic revival( cheap version); from 4 rooms to 12. So I will have a lot of decoration to do once there! However there are some repairs that need to be done and I may need a new furnace since it seems to be not as sound as reported. ANd all the fun stuff will have less money so I need to be frugal but wonderful.
BUT before I can decorate I need to drive with 22 cats 2700 miles in March. My husband will have the caper on the pick-up truck and I am in my Toyota Carolla. The hard part is the weather. And the way we wanted to go through Dallas has about 300 miles of road construction going on so we need to go through Houston. So from now on until I can find a separate Blog place this will be about the "Great Pack and Move and Drive 2700 mils with Cats Adventure. I hope to have Wifi in the motels so I can upload pictures and post daily about what is going on. So stay posted to this site and I will update daily( or more since we are not leaving until March) about the packing and getting ready to move from here to way up there! I will share hints and helpful tips about moving packing and all that kind of stuff like that there!