a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Monday, August 5, 2013

What the Internet Is to Me

Last night I could not get to sleep, so I was thinking about things....everything from what color to paint the floor to why many of my relatives are so crappy. I then drifted to the "community" I have on the internet. I am mostly at G+ and breeze into FB to check things out. I shop online, bank, get my news and weather, socialize and more. So the internet is where I live.
I am new to this physical area and there is no real "life" in these small communities where everyone was born and grew up here. To me this is not a virtual world since I am not different online than in person. And all of those I socialize with are real people. I have not hidden here. I am open and honest with my views and I am willing to change my mind when I am wrong during debates and conversations. I do know not everyone is as I am.... open and honest, but I get a feeling that those I socialize with the most are more like me than hidden psychos/slashers-stalkers.
So the old life of going to work and to other social places to meet and visit with people is not an option and it really no longer exists here anymore. To be new to an area is not easy, but with the internet I can bring everyone and all the things I do with me. I can share the new adventure with those I feel like I know. I am not too close to blood relatives and there are no old friends looking me up on the net from my long ago past. SO here is the best I can do. And that is great! I am older yet still young feeling I am not ones mother(except cats) no one's grandma so I am still learning and doing new things at my advanced old age. I will grow old gracefully and on the net since this is where life is now.
This is a wonderful invention and a scary place to be but it is all there is now. And I am OK with that.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Death Comes to Us All

Death will come to all of us. Anything that exists will cease to be at some point in time. Humans and the non-human people of our planet will all die. As will plants and anything that lives. All Dies.
I am the keeper of the Elderly of my family at this time. The Old Ones include cats and an Aunt and myself although I am not yet in the elderly category.

This new century has seen many deaths.
Most of them were murders by governments desiring to kill others in make believe wars. These people like to kill others since they can not imagine that life is sacred.

I am writing about those loved ones who have died of old age or disease. Most I have known die too early and it is such a tragedy to see the young die. Then it is the elderly who must depart this world for parts unknown. I do not have any first hand knowledge of anything after this life. And I will leave that as is.
Now at this moment a very nice cat is leaving this world. K3. He is a champagne blond circle stripe cat. He came to live with us in 2005... already an old cat. He was a nice cat although hated taking medicine. He was born in Texas and will die in Maine. We all moved to Maine over a year ago. He has been happy, well fed, and has had a lap anytime he wanted one. He dies now.

K3 told me a few days ago he was planning to leave. He sat with me for a long time and then got up and wondered around the house sleeping in all his favorite places…. bathroom sink, shelf in the bathroom, in the bay window of the day room, under the sofa on the sofa, under the chair and stretched out on the floor in the sun. I looked for him this morning and he came out when I sat in my chair. I held him for about 45 minutes and then he wanted off to the floor. Death is not sudden for many.

Each of us will take what time we need to pass over the Rim of the Known to the Unknown. We have known cockroaches who have taken days for the life to leave their tiny bodies. Some people roll over and are gone before we realize they were going. Most are in between.

Some time ago we abandon the Vet Put Down when we realized the Vets we had were just looking for income not real care for our babies. We felt ashamed at using their euthanasia, their coldness towards our grief. Like human doctors many now go into the business for the big bucks they can make off the suffering of others. Our animal companions are treated like the Humans now….a cash making machine.

So that is why I care for the dying at home. I am there to comfort, their brothers and sisters can see them and understand why they do not get up. Too many times I had cats meow for the lost ones who died at the vets and never came home. Now they can say their goodbyes and know where they have gone.
I will dig a grave in my new grave yard already with two elderly babies who have left us since we arrived in Maine. I am planning proper landscaping for the area where Sherin and Scholar now lay. Where K3 will lay when he is ready.
Death comes to all of us and when our loved ones die they stay in our hearts and rip a piece out of our being. It is the Tapestry of a life becoming unraveled, the multi-lighted sign with the missing bulbs and soon the sign will give more dark than give light as we live longer. It is the coat of many colors with holes that can not be patched and soon will offer no warmth.

I looked up Death Throes and this is not what K3 is doing. He is not suffering but letting the life leave him. He is close by and not alone. His life had value to his family and will be missed. And he will be remembered.
All life should have value, yet we human beings seem to take little interest in real life and relish taking life. We do not mind letting the living suffer, keeping people alive after they should have passed over. We use our science and technology not to make life better for all but to make it easier to kill many.
I watch my little kitty die before my eyes and will not look away from his last moments of being alive. I loved him all the way and I will be with him all the way. He has given me much from just living with me and I owe him my respect.
At 11:15am K3 departed to the next phase of life. He is buried.