a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Traveling Mirror

This will not be popular with Americans until they really think hard about what I have written. But Americans are cowards. They have never seen war on their soil since the civil war and no one is alive to even have had a grandparent to reminisce about the the Civil War. Yet so many are frothing at the mouth in anticipation to have more wars especially with North Korea. We have several going now accomplishing Nothing but bringing back wounded, dead, and broken military people. Spending our taxes to no end but war profits. The Pentagon now wants to invade N.Korea, Trump is all for it, I am sure, as are all the republican cowards who are hyperventilating all over Face Book for the supremacy of the American way. I would call them idiots but that is too soft a term.  America is not the ruler of the world and nor should it be. We came out on top after WW2 for only one reason…we were the only country left with an intact infrastructure, manufacturing capabilities, and cold hard cash. Our country was not touch by one bomb. Not once city was in ruins. All our citizens were well fed and comfortable no matter how much hardship the grandparents want to portray their war years. We had educated, healthy people to gear up to supply the world devastated by the war of nearly 10 years.
Our women worked in factories not fighting for their country with guns and starvation hiding in cellars and bombed out buildings.
We had it tough, yeah right.
Sorry folks we came out on top through luck that the businessmen here were thwarted by the plan of FDR to enter the war and not make a deal with Hitler. Even Trump’s father was frothing at the mouth to make some sweet deals once England fell.

So until war is here and WE THE PEOPLE really know suffering on our soil we are cowards to demand war in every part of the world for business profits…that is all it is… Profits.  Lots and lots of money to feed the billionaires while they break the backs of the common people here who are so stupid as to believe all the crap put out by the republicans and the so called conservative media. They are all for a war since they will make money. Hell they do not even care about the wounded who come back from the various wars we are engaged in now. Just open your eyes and really see how pathetic we have become. We had a chance to be a great country but decided money was god the father, god the son and god the holy spirit…..pathetic.

Monday, October 23, 2017

It will never end

Since I needed to shop today [and I feel much better thank-you]  I saw what I have been looking for  for well over a year. I am glad to find it but it make my pet peeve livid and he is out of control again. I really hate this capitalist oligarchy more and more every day. The rampant greed and pure avarice is sickening to the point of puking on peoples shoes.
Nothing is easy to calculate in my head anymore. The numbers are not done in metric units, which I can do very well thank-you either.  Just pure meanness and nasty avarice. All these corporations are rolling in their gold and laughing at us serfs as we try to use the crap for education we are getting to navigate everyday life.
It is to the point that I truly pity all the children in school today growing up in this country and world that hated them at birth but loved them as a fetus. The education system being destroyed by DeVos is the best way to calm the serfs since education/knowledge/ critical thinking is the key to survival and to create a little happiness out of the rubble we are allowed to have. The Oligarchs loathe our very existence and do all they can to make our lives mores miserable. Why? I always ask why make out lives more miserable....because they can and we allow them to.
We are too afraid to rise up and take our pitchforks to the castle and over throw the blood sucking leeches who prey on us daily for their pleasure. All these uber rich "people" are sick with their avarice... their illness shines on them like slime yet many bow down thinking that glow is some great thing    However it is just the slime that forms on rotting meat........
I am angry that I can not longer even pare down the spoiled fruit I am allowed to buy to find
 some thing edible...... few people will understand since they live in the paradise of fools. I left that prison long ago. I am not a fool anymore.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Catch 22

I am forced by the lazy, local, postal employees to have a PO Box. They refuse to deliver mail for about 4 blocks of Main Street. I do get my PO Box for free HOWEVER, I do not get all my mail.
If I have something that is addressed to my Street address ( and many many many Businesses, governmental entities, and foreign companies do not deliver to PO Boxes .).....my mail can be returned to sender since the PO Box number is not on the parcel, letter etc.....The new employees( and I have a strong feeling they are republican trumplings) are rude and so arrogant about my complaint that it makes me angry. Yes I made a scene there today but I was in the right and they were wrong and for some reason the one person who could make this not a problem is not there until Tuesday. FTS.      I know the republicans hate the Post Office and that is why they are strangling it with privatization .....probably several congressmen and senators have stock in privatizations mail companies since they never do anything for free.  Yes I hate what the Post Office has been turned into. It was once a well run respected part of our once nice nation now we are a banana republic with out the bananas

Monday, September 11, 2017

An interesting person

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we met this man today and invited him in for coffee, pumpkin cake and to talk about his journey. His name is Eric

A Beaten and Vengeful People

Sixteen years ago the Terrorists brought down the United States of America in New York city.
We curled up in fear and gave away all of our freedoms, struck out at anyone who remotely looked or sounded like those few men who managed to hijack the three planes. We waged and are still waging cruel wars on every country that happens to be under the same umbrella religion called Islam. No one knows, or no one cares, that there are one billion people who are one form or another of the religion Islam. The one country directly responsible for the radical hate filled sect of Islam is Saudi Arabia…of course we have bent over backward to kowtow to all their demands in the name of oil and greed.. We fund those who wanted us to suffer. We still fund those who want us to suffer like some masochist.
All they needed to do to bring the US down was done on September 11, 2001. We went stupid, blind, and deaf and did the rest to ourselves.
Oh, we talked of solidarity and peace and all that. Most of the civilized world was on our side to help ameliorate the disaster and help us through the rubble. However we ignored them and set off to finish the job of destroying what was the United States of America.
Now sixteen years later we are a vengeful, beaten people. We have turned on each other here at home and lashed out at every country in the world in some way. We are isolated and alone and we like it that way….. Feeds our sense of martyrdom and butthurt.
We did try to change things a bit by electing the first black man to the presidency but I see now that was a ploy to finish us off. The racists that nursed their hatred and grudges since the civil war which was over in 1864 began coming out of the woodwork like cockroaches. They swarmed into the military, they swarmed into the police departments, they swarmed into the congress and senate or what is even more sinister like spy moles they came out of the closet and we saw them as our neighbors or even family members.
We are a doomed people. We feed on terror, we revel in hatred, We make money off the endless wars. We hate ourselves so much we want to kill everyone who is not pure American, this is a sickness that is like the flesh eating bacterias. There is not pure anyone on earth. The ideal of pure is a fantasy and made-up of lies. Yet the masses of undereducated slobs eat it up like candy. I see them all over this country. Each little quasi ethnic group sees “the other”, people are divided on the amount of melanin in the skin…. Nothing more, Them people are then divided on how they dress in public….nothing more. Then people are divided on how they pray….nothing more……the USA has fallen so low into the gutter that feeding a hungry child or many hungry children is considered a waste of money, time and effort. We have fallen so low into the gutter we think nothing about homeless people….but we are proud that our apartments earn us thousands of dollars a moth in profits….that is the key that is the new god of the United States of America profit….we want more money….Not every one just those who are already obscenely rich. They also hate anyone and everyone but fellow obscenely rich people.
So on this anniversary of the fall of the United States of America. I am old enough to see the fall with my own eyes. I saw no one speak out about the falling of the US so involved in hate they were from the leaders on down to the slobs in the closet. We lost what ever we were…a little bit every day since. Until the fall was complete last election day. I can not mourn the loss of the USA anymore…it has been a fast ride to the bottom and fewer people still see it………..sad. there is nothing for god to bless anymore,

Sunday, August 27, 2017

New Age Dilemma

We are growing older. We have been refugees for 16 years. We lost our place, our sense of belonging and see in hindsight we were not wrong in our actions and plans. However we are growing older and need to decide to settle down. To move again, or age in place and settle here are our dilemma. Here is not really home but then again our home is gone so it is just a choice. We are at the age where children and grandchildren should be out comfort but we married late in life and decided not to risk children. We have seen dozens of families and what kind of children are created but families and society. So far the best (responsible, mature, dependable capable adult children) took a very ridged family life that revolved around the raising of the children to become adults. Everything else was sidelined. Out of the many so far 2 families had decent children. Everyone else have adult childish people still thinking like spoiled teenagers in their 20s, 30s 40s. The decent mature adult child seems to be the exception rather than the rule.

So we are not mourning that loss of the children will care for the parent ideal. However we need to age as well as we can and prepared for our own ending.

We live in the nutmeg carver state. I never knew or thought it would be THIS bad. We need to be close to the border since we, at least I, will end up in my new country. He is still working on his life and projects and throws out edict to me when I least expect them.

I need to deal with two dead peoples stuff that I am saddled with. Some was easy to dispose off, some not so easy since I need an expert to evaluate special collections. But as I said I live in the boonies and finding expert, honest people is not easy. We have already seen how finding even handymen to do a job, FINISH a job is damn near impossible.
The question today is do we move again? It will be a move closer to the border. There are inviolable rules that must be met for another move the first is scenic beauty, for us that is water front or water view. The second is affordable and not a dump. Both are important. We have abilities for some work but will need paid help for most of the work. However the scenic beauty is chief. We have scenic beauty now but are 3 hours from the border. Times will only get worse as they have shown in the past 16 years, so being closer to the Home side will be a benefit. We can easily flow from one side to the other until......
We are also waiting for the cats to die off. When we were younger it was easier to care for out babies and attrition has halved the number we arrived with here to the Nutmeg Carver state. All are 12+ years old taken care of and loved but it is better to just have one or 2 cats. We feed the feral cats that come. For me I would love an apartment with a view. Yards are hard to clean when the snow flies. My forever home has a small manageable yard. Here is a sloping hill. Beautiful views from every window. Two story.... not the ideal for me in old age.
I saw a downtown apartment building for sale with shops on the street level and SIX river view apartments for not a lot of money in this day and age out side of this state. But who wants to open a shop of some sort, a cafe and maybe an office or two plus have some rentals? The ad said it needed some renovations...that can mean anything in real estate lingo from oh dear no grant counter tops to OH HELL it needs all plumbing and electrical through out. It is a Flat Iron brick building that looks awesome Oh to be 40 again!
So that is my new age dilemma. I wish I new people who wanted to really do something but I do not. I do not know anyone anywhere anymore. I am a refugee who is a bit too old to take on a new project except for maybe another house closer to place I will be buried.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

We All Can Crack

I read a headline today about Sinead O'Connor and a FaceBook video she made in the pain of a mental event( my interpretation) . I looked at the comments. I take the pulse of Humanity with the comments of all the social media.
A lot of people have little to no sympathy nor compassion since she is is celebrity and is therefore wealthy beyond belief. She is also controversial so the sympathy gauge is even lower. This shows how morally bankrupt we as a species can be. There is no religion that says I got mine and the hell with you …except maybe the Trumpsters, Republicans, and assorted Ayn Randers( who also call themselves Libertarians ) that I have come across. I need to include the new age Christians too. They are the epitome of to hell with you I got mine group.
However this has little to do with those people but a lot to do with what I have seen in my great many years.
I am my brother’s ( and sister’s) keeper from a social welfare standpoint. How many cliches can I conjure on this topic? There but for the grace of god go I? Comes to mind. Many times a day while reading the horror show of this world online I think that.
I currently live in a country that could not care less about the welfare of its residents if it tried. All the movers and shakers of this once great nations give zero fucks about anyone except themselves. A few like the president would throw their own offering under the bus to save their skin as demonstrated just recently. These people set the tempo of life here, and the sheeple follow in turn with a hard heart and I got mine to hell with you attitude all along down the line.
To get pleasure from another’s suffering gives many great pleasure . Ms O’Conner’ pain is nothing new. It is new blood for the vampires. I have seen this for a long time.

I grew up in a big city. I knew, as a family friend, my godfather, my father’s oldest and closest friend, a man who was the most famous in the city. Everyone with-in 100+ miles knew of him, listened to him or watched his TV show……for decades. Yet he was isolated in his fame as I am certain Ms O’Connor is now. Yes he drank, had many marriages and escapades that decorated the news papers and airwaves, that entertained those who never met him but certainly were in awe of him. Yes he shoved people away from him except my father and mother …and me since I had become an adult under his eyes. He was best man at my parents wedding 66 years ago. He brought my mother and me home from the hospital when I was born since Dad was at sea and near Okinawa. Home then was a hotel room, I slept in a drawer for a few months until Dad arrived home and then some time longer since rentals were hard to come by even then post war. So I knew this man from before birth.
Lots of interesting stuff can go here but will not. Let me just say say I was the last person my uncle talked to on the phone before he died. Whether he killed himself or not is still speculation. But accidental is I think the term used. We talked for about an hour. He wanted to talk to Dad but dad was out at the time and since we had interesting conversations in the past we chatted. He asked how my poetry was coming along -he liked what I wrote- what was going on in my life. Telling me someday the right man will discover me as a jewel and hold me tight.

He was alone and knew he had pushed several people away, and many more people drifted away because he could no longer supply them with his celebrity fallout. His aura of fame and andaz ( personal style) was sought after by those who feed off others. Fame/celebrity whores are all over, those sycophants who push the booze, the drugs, who go along and encourage the hair brain ideas the the famous conjure up in the rarefied air of manic fame. I know how it works. I saw it from the outside; moreover I saw it from the inside and knew the dangers, I saw the deceit, the lies, the harm others would do to the gentle souls, those delicate personalities who seem larger than life but are as fragile as an egg shell.

After a few years their shells are crazed all over and it takes nearly nothing for their shells to crack. Sinead O’Connor is one of those souls who felt so intensely and now her shell is crazed and cracking. And those who hate the celebrities they worship are the first ones in line to beat on the shell harder to crack it open with glee….shameful glee….that shows their bankrupt personalities.
Our world is bankrupt and many more people live in the poverty of the soul with out feelings, compassion or the least care for another living creature. It looks like the leaders of our earth are this way and many of us peasants like to emulate them….It is hard to swim against the tide of what little humanity is therewith out drowning. I could follow the tide of what is going on….but no….my soul is still intact….and yes there needs to be more help from the governments for health ( mental and physical ) for we the people. We the people no longer have the wealth and never really did to stop our lives and take time to heal. We are all not the same, many of us are not that strong and our shells are crazed ready to crack…..