a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Carpe Diem

I just had a birthday. I am reminded daily that I am no longer young no matter how I feel inside. I have a few aches, the face is no longer 25. I am forced by circumstances to start to sell off my stuff since there are no heirs to do it later after I am dead. So why not part with the treasures now? Life is very complicated for a refugee when there is no permanent place to settle. It is always something making that "last home" become transient.
I like this house but it needs a bit more work to make it comfortable for me for the rest of my life. The big question is how long is the rest of my life? I have my Old aunt living with me who was once my age. She is a few months shy of 99 and she never expected to last this long. After having her live with me I can say with all honestly I never want to last that long; but unlike her I know what to do and have no qualms about it.

Today is cold and foggy. No snow to be festive and I am not missing it. I question the madness of this season. I like the festiveness but there is no one to be festive for. Old One could not care less and never was much of a festive person in her younger days.I have a recipe of cookies in the fridge chilling to make up and I will a bit later today.

I have the first treasures on Ebay, books... nice ones but no one to give them to. It may become easier to sell off the bounty of my life. I also need to deal with the bounty of the Old One's life. There are no charities here to box them up and donate them so I am left with the online garage sale or the trash and I could not bear the trash for my treasures.

Carpe Diem Seize this day.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

New Normal

While reflecting on the latest and certainly not the last shooting, as heartsick as I am, this is the new normal for us. While we, as a nation, have inflicted this kind of pain on other countries in the name of whatever( I think warmonger profits are the prime mover) since 2002( and of course before with the various "actions" we took in the name of what? more war profits since nothing positive has come about from these actions in other countries) I am resolved to be a target as I have been since the Iran hostage thing (many of you are too young to remember that and I think the truth was never taught in the schools) I am sorry the US has devolved into this miasma of hate and despair. The stink of xenophobia is strong and rankles my nose. There is no real hope for change since most people seem to revel in the violence they can contemplate to inflict on those "others" . there is not one person who is running for any office who will be able to make a change for the better since those who pull the strings are not elected. Once the elected person gets the briefing of the truth of his/her office then what ever heartfelt promise they made needs to be abandoned.
Some of my own relatives have hatred for people based on one action of one individual and paints with a broad brush. It is ignorant but by golly they are entitled to their opinion as if it is truth. So much for people I know. If I can not expect a family member to see the difference in a variety of peoples and beliefs then what hope is there for strangers who are so fearful and full of hate filled fear that they wish every one dead?
So what is the difference with the frightened people of the US who are so undereducated to understand or see that violence is not the answer to the world's problems today when our own government thinks and acts only in violence and cruelty when dealing with all of its citizens and those we invade with out rhyme or reason? What are you really patriotic about? really what moves you to support men and women who of their own desire join up to kill those in others countries thousands of miles away? To what end are these wars. We are no infected with the violence is the only action plague.
Every human being and really every animal on earth wants to live a nice life and raise their family. No neighbor should be homeless or hungry in this whole world. No man or woman needs to be a billionaire while their fellow citizens can not afford to eat or live in a decent home. It is as simple as that. Too many people have too much and too many people have nothing. If you can not see that this is a great wrong, a travesty of this only life we have then you are the problem with this world and not the guns, Guns are only the means desperate people have to lash out. The collective soul of America stinks with corruption, avarice, and greed so thick it is has blinded most to the truth. Do unto other as you would have done unto you.