a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Carpe Diem

I just had a birthday. I am reminded daily that I am no longer young no matter how I feel inside. I have a few aches, the face is no longer 25. I am forced by circumstances to start to sell off my stuff since there are no heirs to do it later after I am dead. So why not part with the treasures now? Life is very complicated for a refugee when there is no permanent place to settle. It is always something making that "last home" become transient.
I like this house but it needs a bit more work to make it comfortable for me for the rest of my life. The big question is how long is the rest of my life? I have my Old aunt living with me who was once my age. She is a few months shy of 99 and she never expected to last this long. After having her live with me I can say with all honestly I never want to last that long; but unlike her I know what to do and have no qualms about it.

Today is cold and foggy. No snow to be festive and I am not missing it. I question the madness of this season. I like the festiveness but there is no one to be festive for. Old One could not care less and never was much of a festive person in her younger days.I have a recipe of cookies in the fridge chilling to make up and I will a bit later today.

I have the first treasures on Ebay, books... nice ones but no one to give them to. It may become easier to sell off the bounty of my life. I also need to deal with the bounty of the Old One's life. There are no charities here to box them up and donate them so I am left with the online garage sale or the trash and I could not bear the trash for my treasures.

Carpe Diem Seize this day.

1 comment:

  1. At 74, I had the same thoughts. I know I probably don't have many more years, and wonder why I even make plans anymore. I'm beginning to wonder what death will be like. Will I even know when it happens. Enough of that, getting too morbid. I've finally learned that things don't matter any more.