a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Tuesday, October 28, 2014


I like Halloween. I like Samhain and all the odd sorts of customs I see from other places I bury an apple by the road for wandering spirits. I was always a gypsy for Halloween. I had a red long skirt with cards sewn on it.... my mother made it. I also wore a shawl and head scarf. Later (much later) I learned my great grandmother was a gypsy. So it was in my blood. I like witches and all that stuff that goes with Halloween. I do not believe in the devil or evil spirits, just nasty people. And real people are more scary than anything supernatural!

But back to traditions. I like to make a Bramback bread, bury the apple, remembering the departed with a candle and incense. It is traditional New Years for the Celtic cultures and it make good sense to me to embrace the dark months while preparing for the longer nights. Since I live in the north I can see the changes in the length of the day and night, sunset at 4:30pm and sunrise at 8 am! Something that is not as obvious in many of the lower states.

Autumn is a glorious time of color blazing away in dappled sunshine. Apple anything, pumpkin anything, I made pumpkin waffles this morning they are very yummy... just add a 1/2 cup of pumpkin and some spice to the regular batter. Baked cut up apples( I like spice in this too) in a casserole with a layer of cinnamon rolls( yes out of the can) makes a nice meal too.
Apples are old world and Pumpkins are new world...I am very glad all the world has been blended together through those who had bad intentions of conquest; but with out the blending our world would be sad and tasteless. We are all from a people who were conquerers and the conquered. I hold no animosity to those who came before me. We as a species are not so nice, we can only mentally evolve to become nicer & kinder. It is not happening if watching movies from the 1930s and 1940s is any indication of our evolution. We are devolving rather rapidly.

Halloween is a time to reflect for me and enjoy a neglected part of the year, the harvest, the change of the season to become winter and for nature's rest. Many have lost touch with nature, but here in Maine it is easier to stay tuned in. The weather will not let us slide for long!

Halloween is all about the treat nature gives us in the colorful trees the nippy air the frost, harvest of the fruits, the preparation of burrowing in for a snowy time.

I like the sweets, the candy, but I remember as a child my booty of candy still being raided at Easter time. So I can wait out the long spell of the winter. Autumn is short and winter is just a few weeks away since snow comes so close to the middle of Autumn now. Trick or treat? All of lie is a treat if we just remember that life is all we have, really.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

A New Direction

I have been reading more news than is good for me lately, and I have decided that how we ( you and I )are referring to those we violently disagree with is counter productive. Calling people morons and stupid and all the other low terms is not right. Yes they are stupid heads since they are diametrically opposed to our views; however calling them names does not change their perception of themselves. And changing that is what I am all about.

A person who is very interested in another's sex life is more a voyeur. Some one who is bent on interfering in a stranger's person affairs/life like birth control, or who an adult loves( another adult, too) is perverse. Those who obsess about strangers sex lives are perverts.
The whole idea of being obsessed with personal lives as if they have some sort of right is perversion.

People who want to attack ideals like a living wage, medical care are Stingy. There are many words that fit this category. Those who do not want for other as they have and are chive to deny others like medical care, clean water, adequate housing, wages are more Rapacious. It is a selfish greedy grasping attitude that want to deny happiness to others. Who resent others having any happiness.

These terms are broad enough and the general meaning know far and wide enough to make this work as descriptions better suited to challenging the broad array of office seekers and talking heads on TV/Radio/ Print.

No matter how "clean cut" these talking/writing heads look their minds are perverse. They really are not aware that they are voyeurs and perverts so we must remind them that this is what they are and their religious beliefs are misconstrued and a misinterpretation of the whole intent of religion. This also goes for those who are violent in nature also.

It is more a case of mass delusion and brainwashing. Just because a lot of people are bellowing about their ideals does not mean they are correct. Just susceptible to other's bad intentions.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Phooey Number 2

What bothers me the most about the east vs west morality : Muslim women are veiled and perceived as oppressed this is true mostly, too. However western women are oppressed as being the vamp/tramp/ tease to weak men and always put on display, shunned if we are too fat, too skinny, too homely, too short, too tall, no boobs..... We are only acceptable if we are beautiful and do not speak out. We must be baby machines, cooks, house keepers and whores to the ideal of many men. We can go to school but are rarely encouraged to study anything in math or science, must not look to smart. An outspoken women, an intelligent women is emasculating and therefore not desirable to most men. Not only not desirable but dangerous. Every religious/Christian/ news/evangelist talk show male degrades anything and everything about a woman who does not parrot their ideals. So who is really oppressed? we are oppressed by men here as well as brainwashed women who insist on dragging down other women( of course only after they have gotten on the top!!) Look around and tell me if I am wrong. Who is more oppressed, I believe it is a tie.

Sunday, October 5, 2014


I am living through the hardest time of my life. I had other hard times, years of living through a special kind of hell but I still had youth to see me through the tunnel. I still could dream of some pleasant time in the future. But not now. I am at an age people can suddenly die or get some dreadful disease and then my life would be over. All my dreams shattered and picking up the pieces of those dreams cut my fingers and I bleed. It is hard to see through this time since I am much wiser now and I know things can get worse.

That old saying of "well what else can go wrong" is like a challenge to the Universe. Damocles sword hangs over my head. I am paying the price of doing the right thing for the right reason. It does not make my days easier since I am no sainted martyr who relishes suffering. I trap what bits of joy of each day and sometimes that basket is nearly empty and I need to hold tight to those little joys or break from the grief of my life. I can suspend my disbelief when I watch Dr Who. But I can not pretend I received an apology due me has been given. I need to let go, and I have let go of many things but we all know that to forget a major event of pain making is hard. There is always something to break the stitches and the blood oozes just enough to make a mess. Good metaphors.

I have much to be grateful for but why should I always be thankful for not having more bad stuff happening to me? I would like to live for a while where only nice things happen for a change and be thankful of the good things and not be thankful that things were not worse. That is why I have no more faith, belief, or other religious trappings. I got tired of being on the conveyor belt receiving end of being glad things were not worse than they were. So on this Sunday I say Phooey.