a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Capitalism's Scams

I am dealing with an insurance company. I hate Insurance Companies at this point. They do not live in my world and I am being penalized for not living in their land of LALALA.
Getting ANYONE to do work on or in a house here is a miracle. If Someone shows up when they say they will be here I will need my smelling salts. I am never ready for that knock on the door by someone who says "I will be there tomorrow or Monday" or whatever freaking date comes to their minds. Yet the Insurance company expected me to repair a wall that was leaking even though the leak was caused by the leaking roof. I was on the list to get a new roof for 6 months. Does the insurance company have a crew to do repairs....no. So I am at the mercy of those who are in the business of construction. Of course the foundation was out of kilter and needed to be fixed before the roof could be done. It is a never ending cycle of waiting and being threatened by these brainless people who run these for profit mega companies who really loathe to pay out money for anything ever.

We are scared into insurance all the time by bad drivers, our thoughtless driving, and all the little things that can and do go wrong in life. Everything is expensive. Our modern lives are full of dangerous luxuries. Much like our ancestors feared fire we fear everything. We have so much stuff, such very expensive homes that any repair is a bank breaker since we are living beyond our means. I am not but more people than not are. I have an old house. I am fixing it since it has been neglected for decades. Surprisingly it is in OK shape even though the people who lived here since 1940 were trash and did everything badly wrong or stupid (not necessarily in that order) But my house was built in 1900. Built to last longer than the new houses are today.

I need new glass in the kitchen window....I had a man out and he quoted me a price and said he'd be back in a week....5 months ago. There is a plumber in town that is suppose to be the best in the business and he never shows up. Well to me the best in the business is the one who shows up or at least says he is so bust=y he can't do it.

Here a man's word is nothing. And all those nothings have tormented me for months.

There is no trust left in me for the big businesses/Capitalism. It may seem odd since it is the small business man that has thwarted my efforts to get things done to add to the economy. But these people are the bedrock of capitalism and these people are lousy so the foundation of America is rotten and soon it will start to fall from the bottom. The big businesses will suffer eventually. But those tycoons will still get their work done, wear their fancy suits and sit on their golden toilets. Me? I am so disgusted at this system that I don't care anymore. I hate those who do not live in reality....my world.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Uncomfortable Grace

I have been a vegetarian/vegan for over a decade. I like it. I am used to it. I miss it. I have taken in my 95 year old Aunty and she still has a relish for eating. She also likes to have me eat with her and share. So I decided to stop eating veg while she is still alive. A concession from love. The people who know me say it is a good thing for her sake. I am not worried about any sin. I do not believe in a god or gods anyway so the world is open to me with out someone imposing restrictions. So I make steaks and chops, filets. I have though, drawn the line at foul, that I will not eat, however I did buy some Cornish hens to cook for her. I cannot make for me my things and for her her things. I do not have the energy nor do I want her to feel uncomfortable while living with me. She is the one who was uprooted and had her home sold out from under her and sent to the streets (metaphorically speaking). I respect her age and her life. I am just missing my normal diet. When she is off her feed I eat my own way and feed her what she wants. I am used to doing this with my Dad when I cared for him those 26 years ago. So what is the point of this blog? None just to share with others how I feel today. It is hard to detach myself from the violent meat eating world, since I know better. I only cook the parts that do not gross me out. And it is hard but I do it from duty and love. Who else wanted an old lady have the best last days of her life except me? That is why she is in Maine and not in her little house in California. She had no one to take care of her. So I make sure she has what she desires. I miss tofu.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

A Comparison on Judgement at Nuremberg

After watching the Judgement at Nuremberg for the second time this year I am compelled to write about the theme of that movie and what is happening today in the United States of America.
The German people were condemned for “allowing” Hitler and his NAZI party to get into and stay in power. The Judges went along with it, some holding their noses, some embracing the new patriotic feelings after the humiliation of WW1, some thinking it was a phase that would end.
The Population welcomed all the good that Hitler did. Since they were not involved with the bad stuff, they let it go and decided to not pay attention to it. The” Others” were not them or their friends or family. Out of sight out of mind.

I have a staunch republican voter in the house, she is elderly but still has her mind. She can represent the mind of the normal people who embrace FOX news and are not involved in anything outside their own lives.
I am one of the current “others”.
Today I told her that I lost my job, which I loved, went to college to learn and worked at for 10 years because of my religion. Those terrorists were, after all Muslims, and all Muslims are potential terrorists. My relatives knew I was Muslim since I was 16. However in their desire to forget me and my leaving the Christian/Jewish fold, they never once considered how I and my husband could be affected after 9/11 or with the anti Muslim sentiment that has prevailed in this country for decades. They never once gave it a thought. Just like the good Germans never gave what was going on a thought. Most were not intellectuals. And thinking too much is hard work.
Many people here are more like the character Montgomery Clift played in the movie. The challenge to understand or go outside their comfort zone never appealed to them. It is as easy to be ignorant of the world’s happenings now as it was then with no TV and limited news access. The cable channels make it easy to never hear anything that you do not already believe or validates your ideals. People today are as ignorant as they were in the 1900s, 1910s,1920s, 1930s.

Now general ignorance is even more so since there is a lot of easy idea to fill the gaps in knowledge. There are many lies, misstatements, and propaganda that fill the airwaves and the empty minds of those who are not up to the intellectual challenge of out side their box life.
FOX and the other networks are enough for them. And most will rather watch a 50 year old rerun or a game show than to think. After all it is not their problem or life that is affected by the infection of the lie deliberate.
So how did the Germans let the NAZIs happen and all that came after? The same way the Americans are letting it happen now. We have no death camps...we are much more subtle than that.

We do kill an amazing amount of people a day in our quest to rid the world, our world, of Terrorists ( which all seem to be Muslims). We are much cleaner with the drones, and we kill them over in their own countries so we do not need to dispose them off after they are dead. We do not even record how many we kill, we do not care to know their names or gender or age.

So my dear fellow Americans this is how the German people let such a thing happen. Just like you are letting it happen now. Just like we turn a blind eye to Israel as their do it to those who just happened to living in Palestine when they wanted to occupy it in the name of Israel and to never forget or let it happen to them again....of course the “others” are not in that ideal to never let it happen to them ….they are after all the terrorists and the ones that are a threat to their way of life…
We all learned from the best and greatly improved on the techniques.

There are things the Nazis did better...Their uniforms, the fact they had a goal in mind for their country and people, They had a plan that everyone could see and know about if they wanted to know. Germany was organized.