a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Uncomfortable Grace

I have been a vegetarian/vegan for over a decade. I like it. I am used to it. I miss it. I have taken in my 95 year old Aunty and she still has a relish for eating. She also likes to have me eat with her and share. So I decided to stop eating veg while she is still alive. A concession from love. The people who know me say it is a good thing for her sake. I am not worried about any sin. I do not believe in a god or gods anyway so the world is open to me with out someone imposing restrictions. So I make steaks and chops, filets. I have though, drawn the line at foul, that I will not eat, however I did buy some Cornish hens to cook for her. I cannot make for me my things and for her her things. I do not have the energy nor do I want her to feel uncomfortable while living with me. She is the one who was uprooted and had her home sold out from under her and sent to the streets (metaphorically speaking). I respect her age and her life. I am just missing my normal diet. When she is off her feed I eat my own way and feed her what she wants. I am used to doing this with my Dad when I cared for him those 26 years ago. So what is the point of this blog? None just to share with others how I feel today. It is hard to detach myself from the violent meat eating world, since I know better. I only cook the parts that do not gross me out. And it is hard but I do it from duty and love. Who else wanted an old lady have the best last days of her life except me? That is why she is in Maine and not in her little house in California. She had no one to take care of her. So I make sure she has what she desires. I miss tofu.

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