a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Thursday, August 30, 2012

No More Discrimination!

In New Brunswick, Canada, the government (provincial and national) actively ignore the plight of English speaking citizens. We must endure lower qualified workers in our services, stores and anywhere the public needs to associate with strangers simply because they speak French and more often than not they speak crappy English. I speak crappy French but great English but that will not get me into the door for any job interview. Is there any service from the province that lets a person learn French? No, nothing is there that will create a qualified bilingual speaker, and nothing under many thousands of dollars and years of study that will end up counting for anything in the job market. The province hates English speaking citizens and we are treated like second class citizens or worse as unwanted people. I always get the subtle attitude of go away from here English speaker, you are not wanted. I am treated poorly by the French speakers.

To declare a bilingual province and not provide assistance to teach all the adults who were brought up as English speakers before the edict was enthroned that New Brunswick should be bilingual is discrimination, and it is a brain drain on the province because of this dirty practice. The edict does not require anyone to be bilingual to be hired in New Brunswick or Canada however the administration enforces this non-written mandate which has frozen out several generations of English speakers.

This is the first in a series to wake up Canada and New Brunswick rants. French is a nice language but it is not the only language nor even the world language that will get a person ahead. I guess this is why New Brunswick is the new old Newfoundland... A joke.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

One of those pity party days

I am feeling sorry for myself and I need to vent. How else than to blog?! First off, I do not resent taking in my Aunt Nellie, she is a nice person and in no way am I upset at her.

I am upset though at the reason I had to take her in. And that I was the only one to do it.

Here is my back story-- I will keep it short.

The reason is I was the only one to take care of my Dad when I was just 20 to age 36. I spent 16 years of the young, fun times caring for my Dad who could be very hard to live with; he was verbally abusive to me many times but I stayed for my mother's sake.

I had a sister (still do technically) but she was never around to help not one day in 16 years. Oh she'd come to visit and call to ask for money but as for any kind of help... never. After my Dad died I was 36, lost my youth and opportunities to make something of myself (not that the sister did anything worthwhile). I was under educated, no skills, no job to pay into SSA. No thanks from anyone except Mom. I actually got mouthy talk from relatives on how I sucked off my parents! That hurt very much too, considering they were eating the food I prepared, shopped for, and enjoying the clean house I kept. So my sister was nasty to me and so were the relatives. Yes I really sucked off them for a long time!!!!!

I then met the man who would become my husband. Shocked the hell out of everyone that anyone would marry me. I married in haste to escape and have a life. That was 25 years ago. Qudus sent me to college. So I now have a BA and a MA. I worked at a job I loved...teaching in college...until 9/11...this is another blog for later.

So we lived like other people ups and downs. We retired and moved to Maine since I hate the heat of Texas and I never met anyone nice there. After 9/11 it got worse for us but that belongs in another blog.

I have a lovely dumpster of a fixer upper house in Maine and what happens to me? My Elderly Aunt is being mistreated by those who said they would care for her. No one hit her but they left her alone, skimmed money off her and let an old lady be alone who should not have been nor was suppose to be...

There are plenty of people who could have cared for her while she stayed in her own little house she built but those relatives made sure that would not happen. You see even I knew that Frances was suppose to move into Joyce's house so she could care for Nellie, because Joyce told me that. So in their rush to screw an old lady Richard Uncle Jim and Mary did the unthinkable...at least to a compassionate person. Several nieces could have had her in their home in California if it came to that, and there used to be enough of Aunty's savings to help her along if she needed professional care in a home.

But no I am the only one who stepped up and offered her a home. I live in Maine and I already spent 16 years caring for another and was looking forward to having some fun in steampunk decorating my old dumpster or moving back to Canada and be with my husband and friends. I am a little tired and I am 60 and I am now sad and alone feeling and doing the best I can to care for someone who cared for me. Although I am not one of the many who lived with her during their lean times sucking off her generous heart.

So I am feeling sorry for myself today since I now have a hundred boxes to sort through, another house of furniture to find a place for, and I can't steampunk my bathroom. And I need to have cable TV for her and she likes FOX. So woe is me, But I am glad she is here with me and not all alone at the non mercy of those who should be caring for her in her own home!

So forgive me my pity party today. i have a hair appointment so maybe that will help.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Fear and Hope

So much has happened this last year. August to August. My head whirls just thinking about everything unplanned that HAD to be dealt with. I am 4 months in a new house that turned out to be in worse shape than advertised. We make do and are slowing fixing it. A new family member is with us who lost her life savings and home by "theft" by her own family.

I am scared of this coming winter. When I am alone I can cope well enough, but my 95 year old Auntie needs better care than I would give myself so I need to provide for her first. Now the weather is nice but when the snow flies and we need to drive to Bangor to get the miracle eye injections that gave her back her sight, I am afraid. I have not driven in snow since 2008. I can still drive. I am fine, but I have this responsibility for her well being. Caring for cats is one thing but another human being?

I still need to get the driveway and pathway fixed since she uses a walker, and this house was not bought with her in mind last June! So much to think and plan for. I have interviewed a nice lady to help. I have written my cousin to see if she'd like to live here for a year and enjoy and help too. I do not want her husband though, he creeps me out a bit. He is happy as a wilderness man and I know she is not thrilled to be living like that anymore. She will most likely say no to me.

Life is funny. I was never in the top 10 to do what I am doing. I am as far away from California as I can get and stay in the USA. I'd rather go home to Canada and I would have, but Auntie is here. Yes life is funny. It is scary. It is thrilling. It is beautiful. It is full of ugly. Yet life is all there is and all must be accepted and lived through. I just need to keep going through the long tunnel and I know there will be enough sunshine, pretty snow falls and nice times to make up for the hardships.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Beware of Relatives

Relatives are first in line to screw you. I have seen more times where it is family that is dangerous than strangers. My own story is sad but the story of my 95 year old Auntie is sadder.
Auntie is a WWII vet, single and has worked all her life and saved her money. In 2008 the the niece that was to care for her died. At the time she was blind and could not walk. Her darling Sister and Brother-in-Law offered to help her. The brother of the niece, Auntie's Nephew seems to be a jerk. Niece was on Auntie's bank accounts as a safety feature, as all elderly people are advised to get another to help with these things just in incase. Nephew decided that everything in Auntie's accounts was half his sister's! He took it out and left Auntie high and dry. Sold the house out from under Auntie- Auntie built this house, paid for it and paid all the property taxes, paid off the mortgage for Niece since she was dying of cancer.
Everyone( sister, brother-in-law, nephew) decided that half of the money from Auntie's account now belonged to them.
I get a letter from the Sister's lawyer telling me that Sister and Brother-in-Law have graciously let Auntie live rent free in her own house( they bought the houses from Nephew (Dead Sisters house and the house that Auntie built and paid for on the same double size lot.) Plus they said they were paying all the expenses of Aunties since the Dead Sister's death. However I have all the canceled checks and all the bank balances and Auntie paid every cent of her expenses and all the property taxes and related expenses of her house. Yet they say they were gracious enough to let her live in her own house rent free.
I am not going to tell this to their lawyer. He is a lawyer after all, and his ethics are with his clients. Since his clients have no conscience and told Auntie she is living too long anyway why should I spend my money to fight them? May they rot in their own living hell. I have Auntie in my home where she is safe fed and cared for. No more days of isolation and worry about what is to become of her. No one should be victimized, especially by family. But They are the first in line to screw you.