Six years ago I was still in shock about my mother's sudden death the previous November. I was on my way to spend the Holidays with her when she died the morning of my arrival day. I was looking forward to the holidays with her since I had moved to Canada in August 2004. We talked everyday or so from the day I left, and I never felt she was in imminent danger of sudden death. I miss my mother but I do not wish her to live in the pain she was hiding from me. She knew I would come the day she asked me to come.
However she wanted me to have my own life now since I had used my late teens, 20s and nearly all my 30s helping her with my invalid father's care. I was happy for Mom to have seen me go to a real university and graduate with not only a BA but my Masters degree. She was proud and felt she had finally be able to do right by me. I do a lot in honor of my Mother. I care for my family of husband and cats, I keep things clean and sanitary, she was after all an infection control nurse in the times before all the antibiotics. MRSA would never have had a chance with her! She dreaded going to the hospitals and always said she wanted to die in her own bed.
On this Mother's Day I will call my mother's oldest sister, my Auntie Nellie. Auntie Nellie is 95 and as amazed to be that old as anyone! She is my God Mother when I was baptized. I may not believe in a deity anymore but I still love and respect my Aunt/God Mother. I am preparing a room for her in my new old home since no one in California where she lives wants to let he in their homes for her final years. Yes she is living on her own and still able to sorta. No one at age 95 should be living alone. There are plenty of relatives who really owe her that have the space and time to let an elder live with them...all those pious Russian Molokans, all those pious Jews, they have room and reason to care for here. I am 3300 miles away and it will take us over 3 days to get to here! 1 day in the hotel at the departure airport since all the flights leave at 6am, 10 plus house and 2 plane changes on the travel day, then another night in the airport hotel since the flight gets in at 12am. No way I will haul her for another 2 hours in the dark and in the car after such a trip! She is welcome here and what ever and all her stuff she wants too. Even her cat.
I am getting the room ready. It will be the little bedroom on the first floor. That room has a flush in the closet and the closet is big enough for a full powder room. I am wondering if I can get a window cut in the wall?. I have a much bigger room but not the money or the people to finish it into a nice room... it is woefully undone. The little room is warm has two windows with nice views. And as I told her, I do expect her to live in the whole house and not be in the bedroom unless she is sleeping or napping. This will be her home too. later we can decide on what to do with other parts. Now she needs shelter from those who yell at her for living too long! And that shelter is with me, as an honor to me to do for her.