Saturday, November 5, 2011
I will be 60 in a month. That number has bummed me out. 60... sounds like I am getting old. I feel lousy since I have a cold but more lousy since I am almost 60 with a cold. I have done a lot of interesting things in my life, met interesting people-in person not cyberspace- I am still alive, which is a good thing. My Father was gone at age 58, many of those I went to junior high school with were dead before they reached 30. I remember the 1960s and much of the late 50s. It is not what I did or remember that has me down and out, it is what I still want to do and how much time I do or don't have in which to do it. Can I still wear boots? I was never able to wear them when the first couple of times they were fashionable since my calves were thick. Now I can find them to fit and am I too old to wear them? I still do not have a home decorated to near any level shown in Traditional Home or House Beautiful. So many movies to watch; Autumn leaves to gather; so many Christmas snows I still want to see. However, I have learned a lot in my journey- The best incense is Gonesh brand-even not lit they smell wonder-filled. I do know that drugs and alcohol will kill people, have killed many I once knew, and kill the personality first before the body. I know Marie Antoinette did not say let them eat cake, that ancient man was smarter then modern man. There are too many people who do not understand how important water is for everyone's survival. We do not need to kill each other in wars if we do not want to. We do not need to kill any animal for food-we kill only because we want to. We can go to the moon but can't decide that health care is important enough for the population to take it out of the greed market. I am no longer a believer in any religion but will not want anyone forced to see my truth- many could not handle it. I am not a Capitalist at all, I do not believe in rampant consumerism. I have socialist liberal leanings after seeing how cruel those who claim to be conservatives are. So I am back at turning 60. My mind does not feel old, my tastes are not old-I know what steampunk is and I would wear a glass eye ring. Am I everything I could have been? No, but who is really? So there I am -60 going on infinity.