a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Sunday, March 20, 2016

My Life ... since a Venn Diagram is complicated

My Frustration level is at max. I have a head ache all the time, my shoulder, which attracts the stress is painful to the feeling of nausea.
I have given a home to my old 98 yr old aunt.
I have a husband whom I love and want happy. We live under the constant fear and threat of all the aftermath of 9/11( you all would not understand very well.)
All my aunts stuff came to this house with the few things of my mother's stuff I saved after her death( that event lasted 6 years and is another circle in the Venn)
I have a fixer upper house which I bought before the Old One needed a place to live so it is in need of fixing.
Old One did not like the downstairs room( which is the warmest w=room in the house while all the rest of the house remains cool enough for my comfort. ) Because it was too small. She was very nasty about not wanting such a small room.......I was ready to put a nice accessible powder room in that room so she could not travel all over to use the bathroom at night....It is a decent size bedroom. But no. She needed the biggest bedroom room in the house. I have had to put extra heaters in the room and with the main house hold furnace it is like an oven but still she complains about it being too cold...nowhere is 85ยบ too cold, especially when it is below zero out side.
I need to function in a too warm house all the time because she only sleeps in the biggest bedroom which is upstairs and needed a stair lift chair $$ to get upstairs. All the bathrooms need new toilets since she did not like anyone them not high enough for her $$. Since she is all over the house all the bathrooms need to accommodate her.
I need to remodel the downstairs bathroom because it is a sight and I knew I would need to fix it when I bought the house...no can do yet....why? No one to do it...this area is bereft of workers of quality, or ethics.
I painted my own bedroom in self preservation since I wanted somewhere to be that was pretty and nice for me...yes selfish me... it is OK but with out a ladder not as nice as I could do and I was exhausted since the move to here was another circle in the Venn diagram that overlaps with the mother diagram. Please put all the diagrams inside the post 9/11 aftermath...there are three that overlap that one but not here yet.

Last year Old One took a tumble because she refused to wear grippy socks while walking and she slipped on the floor and banged herself up enough to be in the hospital.....was that any respite for me? No. For 30 days I needed to wait until the hospital called to tell me she would not be sent home today....I could not get anything done, is was the dead of winter and I still had no one to do any work here in the house for me. As well as every day...every freaking day she could have been discharged and I would need to drive the 45 miles to pick her up at the notice of the phone call.
When she was sent home she was given nice home heath care workers that came in an helped her bathe, do a little physical therapy which she needed (she is not dead yet and can still do things to make it easier on herself and me)
A nurse to asses her once a week. She threw a major tantrum and refused all help...meaning I now had more work than before.
She does not have dementia she is spoiled and stubborn and used to having everything her own way. Make a nice circle for her too.
I was able, or at the time I thought, to find a contractor to do stuff for me since I had frozen pipes and the back of the house foundation would collapse taking the back room bathroom, laundry room and deck with it. OK fine now I need to do this but If I do this can I get the kitchen done( I did not want state of the freaking art hight end kitchen just a simple change) No problem with the amount you have allotted you should get the foundation done the back room dry walled, the deck redone( since it had to come off for the foundation to get done) and the kitchen. And there was enough for a simple powder room since the bathroom downstairs could be out of service for a while)
I must say I called 5 foundation companies and not one NOT ONE showed up to even look and give me an estimate. This guy looked ok and I like a stupid desperate fool said OK.We will start with the powder room since the toilet was already there.....I can only work weekends... OK... I figure a month of weekends. He became Oh by the way this is a problem , Oh by the way that needs to be repaired oh by the way ........FTS.
I was beaten down and had a huge mess in the house that I just wanted freaking done. And the foundation was in imminent danger of collapse, for real and still......
I am still dealing with everything plus a husband who needs to be tended to as a loving wife wants to.....He is another circle and I am always not doing something right. No he has not been here since the beginning since he has his own set of Venns that he had to to and one of those circles still overlap these other circles. There a five more new circles to put in but at this point I am tired and what is the use.......I am tired.