a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Nothing Real only Hype

So I risked my health last night and took a benadryl for this awful allergic reaction I have been dealing with for over a week.....with in 20 minutes I was breathing and not coughing. My joint pains went away and my swollen feet went back to normal feet. Yes I get a massive reaction to certain chemicals used in common products. I just spent a few hours reading or rather chasing a Will-o'-the-wisp for some real information something yes or no would help; I could not find much on the NO DON"T TAKE IT YOU WILL LOSE YOUR MIND verses sure take it it won't hurt...and lots of nothing in between. Now that I have reached that magic age of imminent death I am concerned since I refuse to linger like a useless sponge like OO. But I still feel at least young in heart and mind...the bottom line is there is no bottom line. I do not take it to sleep but to not die from anaphylaxis, or rather a milder form of it which is still pretty freaking bad too.

I do not consider me an old fashioned old person like those I knew in my youth. I look better, I eat fairly healthy don't smoke or drink. Yet after menopause things in the body does change so why would not other things also change in old people? There is not much really out there about Boomer old people. We are all over the place. I know people younger than me are all granniefied and settled in their ways, I know a lot who have died before they got to the age I am now...my own father never made it past 58. And I know old people my age who are truckin' along with just a few roadside reminders that we ain't 30 anymore. The absolute terror of this age is not knowing when we will pop off. S many have died in this last 18 months that I have become concerned .....am I just a heart beat from dropping dead? Should I start to downsize my stuff since there is no one to leave it too? Do I need more stuff? You know different stuff. I do not want an old persons house decor.....how gawdawful that would be all that crocheted TP roll holders, collector plates and figurine, and such.... yuck I did not like hat stuff way back when I was young and I certainly have not developed a taste for it now.

Not only do I now need to worry about dropping dead, but the only medicine that keeps me from dropping dead when the allergy hits is suppose to give me Alzheimer's or dementia too boot( yes I said too boot! bite me!). As I was saying I was chasing down some real information and found next to none. Everyone said to talk to your doctor... doctors are nice and all, but they do not have time to run down all this information like I do. And I can see most of what they can read also. I will continue to take As Needed benadryl so I can not die of this allergic reaction. I will stay well informed of health issues and just try to not die yet and not become a sponge either....there has to be the right time to kick off. I just am not sure when that is.

3 comments:

  1. Meh - taking it is better than the alternative so take hen needed. Long time ago when I turned 50 my older brother gave me a t-shirt that said if it doesn't hurt it doesn't work :) He forgot to tell me that after 65 everything will always hurt :)

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  2. funny and true! thank-you for reading

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