Pascal's Wager

Since this is an online blog I will link the text rather than retyping it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal%27s_Wager

    I can not accept this as a viable solution to the question of god or not because what if the religion I follow, since I must follow some organize pattern or doctrine since only religion recognizes god, goes against my internal sense of morality and ethics? What if I strongly believe that animals are my brother creatures, that I do not want and am offended at the ideal and practice of eating them or using them for sacrifice to this god? What if I reject from my very core of morality those teachings that allow, condone or encourage things repugnant to me? Then what? Do I simple reject those parts of the dogma and go my own way rejecting the word of god since these are part of the tenets of the religion I am following in agreement of Pascals Wager? Does that make me a hypocrite to go through the motions of religion and faith with out belief? If god knows my heart, thoughts, everything and I am in a service not believing the Eucharist of the wine and bread or any miracle, then is its intention not counted by this god, is it just mindless  rote?
    If I live my life in moral boundaries harming no one adhering to my ideals that I am my brother’s keeper, that all life is sacred. That killing another out of anger, hate, or killing an animal to satisfy my desires to consume their blood and flesh in depraved. That is wrong; then what kind of god do I worship who would approve or desire this? To lie to myself every day that there is some reward for my actions according to whatever belief pattern I have chosen, and that doing good is just the means to this reward that the desire to be good, do good has lesser value then mindless obedience?
    No religion reveal by holy prophets have ever allowed women full measure of freedom and choice, Am I to accept my second class status to bend my neck to a man as my earthly lord and master? What of my life and ambitions? Since Pascal's Wager says to believe in god and god is only mentioned with in context of religion am I to deny my entire time however short or long my own heart and mind?  What kind of monster god would inflict such cruelty on me for the need of my adulation and worship? Then the nature of god must be accepted in my heart for faith to be real or it is no more real than my rejection of faith and god at the beginning. What then will all my worship and prayers be accept by rote with my intent simply to avoid punishment of hell and seek a reward? Which religion is the real religion of god? God seems very vindictive in these religions to risk offending.
    I would have to deny my own internal morality, accept my inferior status which would grate on my self esteem that I was created as subservient by this god demanding my worship and praise, in order to be accepted into his heaven? If I am told I may choose a religion that best fits my moral structure what should this say about the revealed religions? That there is no consistency to them that one is as good as another since all paths lead to heaven? What nonsense must I put up with to assure my salvation from a god who has thus made my life unpleasant and sad? What kind of god is this? And how does my life benefit now is it only after death I get the reward?
     And what kind of reward for a hypocrite who lied everyday and caused harm in my own mind and by my own actions, what manner of divine being accepts this as good?