I love life. I love life for all people and all living non people. I have no illusions that there is a heaven or hell. That is a a tale for children, for those who are not aware of the precious value of life.
As much as I love life I am drawn to suicide to rid me of the pain of watching, hearing about those who hate, of those who can kill any life with no more thought than taking a piss.
However I am in despair at how every government and religion is behaving towards their own people and others not “approved” by their narrow view of this world.
I am sick at heart and soul at the wholesale killing, the callous disregard for another’s love of life to the point that making others suffer, killing others, is some how alright, is some how acceptable.
I remember how horrified the world was when that Buddhist monk set himself on fire in South East Asia during the Viet Nam war. I remember people talking about that was such a tragedy.
When Robin Williams could not longer stand his demons he took his life away. Millions were horrified, grief stricken to loose such a beloved public figure. I then thought if this man who had everything I always wanted, talent, wealth, public acclaim, could throw his life away in his pain then why not me. Why not end my pain at having to see the suffering, the purposely unfairness of others, the hatred towards me by my own government. A government who can not even spare part of the vast riches they squander on killing others to shelter the homeless, feed children, help heal the sick in their own country from the taxes taken from the serfs who support this regime of death.
Then I was thinking through this ideal of killing myself that no one will care except a few close people and of course my cats. I could not kill myself to make a statement about the One Percent oppressing the other Seven Billion people because there is not enough hearts to feel the outrage felt by that death of one Buddhist monk on the stairs so long ago.
If I asked others to join me in suicide, a mass suicide? No that will only create a news event of 5 minutes and then the One Percent will be rid of those who are watching them. Then those precious lives will be gone for nothing.
What makes us all alike? The red of our blood. The kittens murdered by that cop in front of terrified children, their blood was red. The people blown apart by Israeli bombs their blood is red. The wounds created by the rocks thrown at the Israeli solider that blood is red. The slaughter animals condemned only to tantalize the taste buds of “gourmands”… their blood is red as well.
From now on I will wear a a red ribbon on my arm or wrist, or a red piece of duct tape on my clothes, on my car, my bike. This is the symbol of life. It is only seen in death now a days. But If everyone who is fed up, tired and weary of this insanity created by the less than One Percent of the Seven Billion peoples of this planet puts a strip of red tape on their out side clothes, cars, bikes, backpacks, purses, hand bags, cell phones something…. everything…. to be seen by others every day; this will mean I would kill myself if it would stop the madness of these governments, religions, groups who only wish harm and unhappiness for others.
If you love life for everyone then join me. If you wish to spread this idea a piece of red tape on bank doors, restaurants, businesses windows, Not a vandalized size just a few inches to show you know they are part of that One Percent of the insane people who value money over life, that One Percent who lust after power over others so they can make them suffer. Or like our governments who have forgotten us and think we are so much cannon fodder or cash cows to milk dry then throw away. Wear red, not as clothes no, but a strip of tape placed in any way on your jeans, skirts, boots, hats, sleeves. A bumper sticker of red tape, a strip on the door or window of your house. And when people mention it because they will tell them it is the blood of life and you refuse to kill yourself to make the One Percent happy but you want them to know that YOU know THEY are insane and wrong about everything they believe. Since they do not value the only thing we all have for a short time…..LIFE.
a heart is captive
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
What I have learned
I have been through 3 power outages since 9:45 am so I have had time to really think about the state of the Union of the USA. Most electricity companies are for profit so I will thank the workers who get the lines back up and working but not the company since they are not it it as a service to me or the community but for profit and like all for profit companies in the USA they cut corners on the consumer side all the time. So no thank-yous for EMERA for getting my electricity back on; it is your job and you help thwart me from using alternate power, too. Just keep it on. I pay enough for it anyway. Plus you are not even an American company but from Canada.
Another thing I have learned is the William Randolph Hearst was the spear head leader to vilify Hemp as a good crop for paper and fiber and all the other things it can do( a milk like beverage, textiles from rope to silky fabric, oil and so on) Only because he had invested in forests for tree pulp paper. He owned nearly all the important newspapers and several congressmen/Senators so it was a slam dunk to ruin a cash crop that even President Washington grew.
I am sure the big pharmaceutical industry is behind the vilification of marijuana and the opiates as useful medications. I do know morphine is better at controlling pain with out addiction than oxycodone. I do not smoke grass but of course the liquor industry does not want weed to interfere with its billions of dollar sales each years.
No insurance wants to pay out money so those of us who pay into it at a high rate out of fear. Insurance companies have no right to be in the health care area of people. They are there make money...Period. So it is an oxymoron to say health insurance.
Another thing is neither the Israelis not the Palestinians want peace. If they did they would not be doing everything to not have peace. This war and all the other ethnic wars are profiting many businesses and not all of them are American so the other so called first world nations have a big stake in keeping the fighting going.
The USA Government has ceased to be the citizen of the country. We lost our power several decades ago. It is so obvious with the devolution of the Republican part and the neutering of the Democratic party. Few senators and congressmen are independent of some lobby or corporate ownership. Those who can stand the test of scrutiny are allowed in as tokens to keep up the veneer that we are some how a democracy still. We are not. We changed over to fascism a while back. One problem that people have is the definition was changed well over a decade ago in the common dictionaries published here in the USA. I know since I collect old dictionaries and read them. We just do it a bit different since times are different.
So this is what I know and have learned.
Another thing I have learned is the William Randolph Hearst was the spear head leader to vilify Hemp as a good crop for paper and fiber and all the other things it can do( a milk like beverage, textiles from rope to silky fabric, oil and so on) Only because he had invested in forests for tree pulp paper. He owned nearly all the important newspapers and several congressmen/Senators so it was a slam dunk to ruin a cash crop that even President Washington grew.
I am sure the big pharmaceutical industry is behind the vilification of marijuana and the opiates as useful medications. I do know morphine is better at controlling pain with out addiction than oxycodone. I do not smoke grass but of course the liquor industry does not want weed to interfere with its billions of dollar sales each years.
No insurance wants to pay out money so those of us who pay into it at a high rate out of fear. Insurance companies have no right to be in the health care area of people. They are there make money...Period. So it is an oxymoron to say health insurance.
Another thing is neither the Israelis not the Palestinians want peace. If they did they would not be doing everything to not have peace. This war and all the other ethnic wars are profiting many businesses and not all of them are American so the other so called first world nations have a big stake in keeping the fighting going.
The USA Government has ceased to be the citizen of the country. We lost our power several decades ago. It is so obvious with the devolution of the Republican part and the neutering of the Democratic party. Few senators and congressmen are independent of some lobby or corporate ownership. Those who can stand the test of scrutiny are allowed in as tokens to keep up the veneer that we are some how a democracy still. We are not. We changed over to fascism a while back. One problem that people have is the definition was changed well over a decade ago in the common dictionaries published here in the USA. I know since I collect old dictionaries and read them. We just do it a bit different since times are different.
So this is what I know and have learned.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
This and That and The Other
I have been thinking about life, the world, and everything for a week or so. I have a few observations about what I have been ruminating about.
In no particular order:
1. resent the names of sporting areas and other type venue buildings named for corporations. It goes right to my anarchist nerve along with being referred to as a consumer and not a citizen. I had a minor fit when after the events of 9/11 President Bush told Americans to do what they did best SPEND MONEY AND BUY STUFF, to show those ol’ terrorists we were fine, while he and his regime began to dismantle the constitution behind that good ol’ boy facade. Phooey.
I just watched my new DVD --Jesus Christ Superstar. It is a deluxe DVD with commentary by Norman Jewison and Ted Neeley. I loved that movie from the first time I saw it in the very early 1970s. After being treated to a full day of drudgery with all the holy Jesus movies on Easter on TCM, it was nice to watch a quality piece of work. The commentary was so special. I do not roam around the Direct TV dial since 99% is real crap and the other stuff is reruns. When I gave up TV when I was forced to go digital in ’09, I never looked back with regret. I own a few sets of DVDs of my favorite series and re watch them when the mood strikes me. I do have a lot of favorite movies, these, my books, and music round out my entertainment.
I enjoyed the winter. If I were not forced to keep the house so hot I would have been happier. I am now enjoying this creeping Spring. I saw daffodils today while out and shoots of tulips or whatever they are at the side of my house. I hope the ferns survived being frozen for the last few months. I love the ferns.
I have two babies who seem to be planning to leave. Frosty the touch me not cat, has stopped running away from me at meal time and he has taken to sleeping in the same room I am in...he used to stay away from the group. If he would let me I would hold him in my arms and smoochy him all up. Scotsman has taken to sleeping on my lap, or in the bathroom sink. Both are elderly.
I have given up on the dreams and ideals I held as an American, and now also as a Canadian. Both countries have good things about them, and both have scare me to death sinister sides that are less veiled. I can see the contempt both governments have towards their citizens/consumers. It is sad and terrifying.
For now I am finished with this chapter of rumination.
In no particular order:
1. resent the names of sporting areas and other type venue buildings named for corporations. It goes right to my anarchist nerve along with being referred to as a consumer and not a citizen. I had a minor fit when after the events of 9/11 President Bush told Americans to do what they did best SPEND MONEY AND BUY STUFF, to show those ol’ terrorists we were fine, while he and his regime began to dismantle the constitution behind that good ol’ boy facade. Phooey.
I just watched my new DVD --Jesus Christ Superstar. It is a deluxe DVD with commentary by Norman Jewison and Ted Neeley. I loved that movie from the first time I saw it in the very early 1970s. After being treated to a full day of drudgery with all the holy Jesus movies on Easter on TCM, it was nice to watch a quality piece of work. The commentary was so special. I do not roam around the Direct TV dial since 99% is real crap and the other stuff is reruns. When I gave up TV when I was forced to go digital in ’09, I never looked back with regret. I own a few sets of DVDs of my favorite series and re watch them when the mood strikes me. I do have a lot of favorite movies, these, my books, and music round out my entertainment.
I enjoyed the winter. If I were not forced to keep the house so hot I would have been happier. I am now enjoying this creeping Spring. I saw daffodils today while out and shoots of tulips or whatever they are at the side of my house. I hope the ferns survived being frozen for the last few months. I love the ferns.
I have two babies who seem to be planning to leave. Frosty the touch me not cat, has stopped running away from me at meal time and he has taken to sleeping in the same room I am in...he used to stay away from the group. If he would let me I would hold him in my arms and smoochy him all up. Scotsman has taken to sleeping on my lap, or in the bathroom sink. Both are elderly.
I have given up on the dreams and ideals I held as an American, and now also as a Canadian. Both countries have good things about them, and both have scare me to death sinister sides that are less veiled. I can see the contempt both governments have towards their citizens/consumers. It is sad and terrifying.
For now I am finished with this chapter of rumination.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Rise Up Slaves and Rebel! It is Now we must fight!
I have never advocated the annihilation of a whole family before. However in light of the past 35+ years I have had enough of the most evil depraved family on earth and I call for a Fatwa. I also include our own Homegrown evil families.
The Saudi Royal family is the most depraved, evil family on earth. Their Wahabism has been behind most all the terrorist attacks in the past 20 years. They have used their money, which we give them for their oil, to foment death and destruction around the world. It is no secret that they were behind the attack of 9/11.
Now the very straw that has broken the camel’s back has happened in the most depraved and profane act by Saudi Prince Fahd bin Sultan, in his cold blooded murder of thousands of gentle birds, he is not an isolated case. The whole house of Saud is corrupt. I am rather surprise Dick Cheney was not on this pleasure murder trip.
They have scattered their crumbs to others hiding their depravity. They are so wealthy, like the Koch brothers, that they feel above the law and that they are better than other people because of their wealth. The Koch brothers also scatter their crumbs here to people who do their bidding.
The Sauds have shown thousands of times how nasty, depraved, & profane they are over the years. Yet out government is in bed with them as lovers. Our government is as depraved for no one was sold in to slavery; the USA went in as willing partners. And the Koch brothers are as powerful as the Saudis and as evil.
I hate using the word evil but the thesaurus is so inadequate for my disgust at these subhumans who control the world.
It is the Saudis who are creating the unrest in every Muslim country. They are using their vast petro wealth to fund the people who willingly buy into their draconian Wahabism. They are like the people who willingly joined the NAZIs because they were already bent into a violent shape. A person is not corrupted unless he/she is already ripe to turn their back on the truth and light and follow the darkness of these evil people. They have sold their souls since they were not using them anyway.
So I call for the Destruction of the House of Saud. I call for the Destruction for the House of Koch. They have no redeeming value to humanity. They are anti-humanity and only hunger for riches and power. They want and have enslaved us but we have velvet bonds now and do not realize we are shackled to their filth. Rise Up world and take back your souls. Take back your lives and stop being the pawn and lackeys of the Saudis and the Koch.
If you do not rise up then you too are doomed to be as depraved as they are and then I hope you too suffer for your greed, lust, and evil ways.
There is only two sides that of truth and light and that of the Darkness that has control of the world now. Truth is losing but we can rise up and fight.
The Saudi Royal family is the most depraved, evil family on earth. Their Wahabism has been behind most all the terrorist attacks in the past 20 years. They have used their money, which we give them for their oil, to foment death and destruction around the world. It is no secret that they were behind the attack of 9/11.
Now the very straw that has broken the camel’s back has happened in the most depraved and profane act by Saudi Prince Fahd bin Sultan, in his cold blooded murder of thousands of gentle birds, he is not an isolated case. The whole house of Saud is corrupt. I am rather surprise Dick Cheney was not on this pleasure murder trip.
They have scattered their crumbs to others hiding their depravity. They are so wealthy, like the Koch brothers, that they feel above the law and that they are better than other people because of their wealth. The Koch brothers also scatter their crumbs here to people who do their bidding.
The Sauds have shown thousands of times how nasty, depraved, & profane they are over the years. Yet out government is in bed with them as lovers. Our government is as depraved for no one was sold in to slavery; the USA went in as willing partners. And the Koch brothers are as powerful as the Saudis and as evil.
I hate using the word evil but the thesaurus is so inadequate for my disgust at these subhumans who control the world.
It is the Saudis who are creating the unrest in every Muslim country. They are using their vast petro wealth to fund the people who willingly buy into their draconian Wahabism. They are like the people who willingly joined the NAZIs because they were already bent into a violent shape. A person is not corrupted unless he/she is already ripe to turn their back on the truth and light and follow the darkness of these evil people. They have sold their souls since they were not using them anyway.
So I call for the Destruction of the House of Saud. I call for the Destruction for the House of Koch. They have no redeeming value to humanity. They are anti-humanity and only hunger for riches and power. They want and have enslaved us but we have velvet bonds now and do not realize we are shackled to their filth. Rise Up world and take back your souls. Take back your lives and stop being the pawn and lackeys of the Saudis and the Koch.
If you do not rise up then you too are doomed to be as depraved as they are and then I hope you too suffer for your greed, lust, and evil ways.
There is only two sides that of truth and light and that of the Darkness that has control of the world now. Truth is losing but we can rise up and fight.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Running Hard to Stay in Place
Living with an Old One is not easy, nor is it any blessing either. All my young life I had to defer to the old people. The adults got the choicest morsels, the candy, the sweet heart of the watermelon. They got the window seat in the car. And I had to give up my room for them when they stayed while I slept on the sofa.
Everything needed to be just right for them. Or there was hell to pay. So being a child was not big fun fest. When I was a teen it was the same thing. The adults got the nice stuff the kids still got the left overs. I had to be polite to them while they could tell me my skin was bad or I was fat or any number of rude remarks. Inside I vowed to not be such a nasty adult. So I am not.
Now I made a huge faux pas of being kind, and, as my motto is no good deed goes unpunished I am being punished for my kindness and generous spirit I have despite of how I was treated as a child and the “role” models I had.
For a while I was successful in having the nice things first, then of course the Boss gets the nice things...employees get what the little boy shot at….zip.
Now I have an Old One living with me since I could not keep my niceness to my freaking self.
I do not get a seat in the sun, I do not get the room comfortable for me. I do get to hear the endless complaints on how nothing is as nice as when she was younger….lucky her! She lived a life where she never had to care for another or even be polite to others. She was foot loose and fancy free. Go to her house and you could starve to death before she would offer tea. We always ate before we visited since we knew there would be no refreshments after our 5 hour drive to visit. I hated those visits. But I was the child and she the adult so I learned how to sit quietly and wait for my turn. Mostly she would send me out to pull weeds in her garden. All those vegetables and not one of the dozen ripe ones would she offer. Her freezer was full of meat. It would be thrown out from freezer burn before she would cook and serve it to others.
She is now Old. She was being mistreated by those who were “caring” for her. She was a very generous person to non family members. Her neighbors would get those lovely tomatoes and squash and other nice ripe things. They would throw most of them out since she grew too much. We never took home anything from her...after all a five hour ride would wilt the produce….
Now she lives with me since she is Old. No one would come to take her. I was still my moral self, I have no religion or god watching me so I do these good things because they are the right thing to do. The religious relations could not be bothered with her.
I treat her well. I feed her well. I see to her every need since she is Old. I will get no heavenly reward I will get little in return except the satisfaction of doing the right thing.
But now I am not happy since I do not have a seat in the sun. I do not get the choice morsel to complain about, the fresh sheets to tug at because they are wrong….can’t tell me what it the problem since she never had to explain herself to anyone.
She never gave me anything. I hated gardening until I was 40. Yet I took her in because it was the right thing to do. It is still the right thing. And I will not change how I treat her because I am honorable to myself and know how a memory of bad behavior can sting for a lifetime. Maybe someday I will have the seat in the sun before I am Old. I know she always had the choicest of everything since she was 16. Now 80 years later she has hardened into the taking machine full of greed and she has such a greed for life. I guess that is why she will be 97 in 19 days.
Everything needed to be just right for them. Or there was hell to pay. So being a child was not big fun fest. When I was a teen it was the same thing. The adults got the nice stuff the kids still got the left overs. I had to be polite to them while they could tell me my skin was bad or I was fat or any number of rude remarks. Inside I vowed to not be such a nasty adult. So I am not.
Now I made a huge faux pas of being kind, and, as my motto is no good deed goes unpunished I am being punished for my kindness and generous spirit I have despite of how I was treated as a child and the “role” models I had.
For a while I was successful in having the nice things first, then of course the Boss gets the nice things...employees get what the little boy shot at….zip.
Now I have an Old One living with me since I could not keep my niceness to my freaking self.
I do not get a seat in the sun, I do not get the room comfortable for me. I do get to hear the endless complaints on how nothing is as nice as when she was younger….lucky her! She lived a life where she never had to care for another or even be polite to others. She was foot loose and fancy free. Go to her house and you could starve to death before she would offer tea. We always ate before we visited since we knew there would be no refreshments after our 5 hour drive to visit. I hated those visits. But I was the child and she the adult so I learned how to sit quietly and wait for my turn. Mostly she would send me out to pull weeds in her garden. All those vegetables and not one of the dozen ripe ones would she offer. Her freezer was full of meat. It would be thrown out from freezer burn before she would cook and serve it to others.
She is now Old. She was being mistreated by those who were “caring” for her. She was a very generous person to non family members. Her neighbors would get those lovely tomatoes and squash and other nice ripe things. They would throw most of them out since she grew too much. We never took home anything from her...after all a five hour ride would wilt the produce….
Now she lives with me since she is Old. No one would come to take her. I was still my moral self, I have no religion or god watching me so I do these good things because they are the right thing to do. The religious relations could not be bothered with her.
I treat her well. I feed her well. I see to her every need since she is Old. I will get no heavenly reward I will get little in return except the satisfaction of doing the right thing.
But now I am not happy since I do not have a seat in the sun. I do not get the choice morsel to complain about, the fresh sheets to tug at because they are wrong….can’t tell me what it the problem since she never had to explain herself to anyone.
She never gave me anything. I hated gardening until I was 40. Yet I took her in because it was the right thing to do. It is still the right thing. And I will not change how I treat her because I am honorable to myself and know how a memory of bad behavior can sting for a lifetime. Maybe someday I will have the seat in the sun before I am Old. I know she always had the choicest of everything since she was 16. Now 80 years later she has hardened into the taking machine full of greed and she has such a greed for life. I guess that is why she will be 97 in 19 days.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
I HATE DIRECT TV AND ALL IT REPRESENTS
I wanted to watch the Olympics today, I have Direct TV and a bazillions stations so I thought I would enjoy the events. WRONG. Even though I pay through the nose for DirectTV I got NO station that has the Olympics...unless I want to pay more.
I gave up counting after 17 porno stations and 30 all day paid programming( read as infomercials all day all night) 20 stations with reruns and half of those have the SAME programs to boot.
SO I hate cable TV it is all cable to me little dish on the roof or not. These are not nice companies. First Direct TV takes off the weather channel...one station I did enjoy and put this godawful droning Weathernation in its place as good enough for us slobs who have cable. The Weathernation never has my area weather ever! So I feel blind about the coming storms here and I have an Old One(96) who I need to take to the doctor and provide for her comfort and safety.
I want to cancel the cable all together but she watches it. So I am held hostage by Direct TV and my duty to the Old One. And I hate Direct TV since they are rude on the phone, and do not give me value for the money I pay each month, Yes I get 100 station but over 55 are porn or informercials, 3 are the local ( a 100 miles away from me) and 2 get watched more or less. The rest are rerun stations of shows I do not want to see anymore or reality TV( even HGTV is a reality TV station now).
I hate wasting money! I hate not watching something that is costing me money I can spend elsewhere! I hate DirectTV for not ever giving me value for my hard earned money. Go ahead and laugh at me but I am not a pod person that relishes the garbage on the television. It could have been such a useful tool to learn and see the world from my living room. But when the history channel has reality TV shows about pawn shops I know that civilization is a sham and the people who watch this stuff are pathetic. The world is devolving right before my eyes.
I need to wash myself after having Direct TV on it is that nasty.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Winter Madness
I am not normally calm when things surprise me an unpleasant way. As my second cousins posted “I am Russian I don’t do Calm”, but I can calm down however it takes some time to reassess and calm down. The other ethnic parts of me are French and Irish so no one does calm!
I need to rant about food. I have decided to use more dried vegetables and some people( the Old One comes to mind) are all about fresh. Well I need to fuss.
I had two beautiful Onions to use in a recipe tonight. The Old One loves onions, lots and lots of onions. Every freaking bag of onions or individually chosen onions I have bought in two years have been bad. Out of five pounds of onions fully half are spoiled the day I buy and cut them open. The onions( makes no difference if they are purple, white, or yellow) look beautiful on the outside the skins are dry like a good fresh onion should be. BUT cut them open and they are rotten inside...pre spoiled!
So the five pounds I need for onion soup are barely three pounds of eatable onions after I cut through them. That makes me crazy, frustrated and angry that the price I pay for garbage comes from a finite source of money. I wasted $5 dollars….and that is a lot of money for this peasant. I just needed the two big beautiful onions for tonight. I got one!
So I will defend my use of the bulk dried vegetables that I buy, yes they are not as “nice” as fresh onions but I do not get to buy nice fresh onions, I get to buy onions that are spoiled inside and looks beautiful outside.
So much for the fresh food movement all the rich folks tout!
I need to rant about food. I have decided to use more dried vegetables and some people( the Old One comes to mind) are all about fresh. Well I need to fuss.
I had two beautiful Onions to use in a recipe tonight. The Old One loves onions, lots and lots of onions. Every freaking bag of onions or individually chosen onions I have bought in two years have been bad. Out of five pounds of onions fully half are spoiled the day I buy and cut them open. The onions( makes no difference if they are purple, white, or yellow) look beautiful on the outside the skins are dry like a good fresh onion should be. BUT cut them open and they are rotten inside...pre spoiled!
So the five pounds I need for onion soup are barely three pounds of eatable onions after I cut through them. That makes me crazy, frustrated and angry that the price I pay for garbage comes from a finite source of money. I wasted $5 dollars….and that is a lot of money for this peasant. I just needed the two big beautiful onions for tonight. I got one!
So I will defend my use of the bulk dried vegetables that I buy, yes they are not as “nice” as fresh onions but I do not get to buy nice fresh onions, I get to buy onions that are spoiled inside and looks beautiful outside.
So much for the fresh food movement all the rich folks tout!
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