a heart is captive

a heart is captive

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Rise Up Slaves and Rebel! It is Now we must fight!

I have never advocated the annihilation of a whole family before. However in light of the past 35+ years I have had enough of the most evil depraved family on earth and I call for a Fatwa. I also include our own Homegrown evil families.

The Saudi Royal family is the most depraved, evil family on earth. Their Wahabism has been behind most all the terrorist attacks in the past 20 years. They have used their money, which we give them for their oil, to foment death and destruction around the world. It is no secret that they were behind the attack of 9/11.
Now the very straw that has broken the camel’s back has happened in the most depraved and profane act by Saudi Prince Fahd bin Sultan, in his cold blooded murder of thousands of gentle birds, he is not an isolated case. The whole house of Saud is corrupt. I am rather surprise Dick Cheney was not on this pleasure murder trip.
They have scattered their crumbs to others hiding their depravity. They are so wealthy, like the Koch brothers, that they feel above the law and that they are better than other people because of their wealth. The Koch brothers also scatter their crumbs here to people who do their bidding.
The Sauds have shown thousands of times how nasty, depraved, & profane they are over the years. Yet out government is in bed with them as lovers. Our government is as depraved for no one was sold in to slavery; the USA went in as willing partners. And the Koch brothers are as powerful as the Saudis and as evil.
I hate using the word evil but the thesaurus is so inadequate for my disgust at these subhumans who control the world.
It is the Saudis who are creating the unrest in every Muslim country. They are using their vast petro wealth to fund the people who willingly buy into their draconian Wahabism. They are like the people who willingly joined the NAZIs because they were already bent into a violent shape. A person is not corrupted unless he/she is already ripe to turn their back on the truth and light and follow the darkness of these evil people. They have sold their souls since they were not using them anyway.
So I call for the Destruction of the House of Saud. I call for the Destruction for the House of Koch. They have no redeeming value to humanity. They are anti-humanity and only hunger for riches and power. They want and have enslaved us but we have velvet bonds now and do not realize we are shackled to their filth. Rise Up world and take back your souls. Take back your lives and stop being the pawn and lackeys of the Saudis and the Koch.
If you do not rise up then you too are doomed to be as depraved as they are and then I hope you too suffer for your greed, lust, and evil ways.
There is only two sides that of truth and light and that of the Darkness that has control of the world now. Truth is losing but we can rise up and fight.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Running Hard to Stay in Place

Living with an Old One is not easy, nor is it any blessing either. All my young life I had to defer to the old people. The adults got the choicest morsels, the candy, the sweet heart of the watermelon. They got the window seat in the car. And I had to give up my room for them when they stayed while I slept on the sofa.

Everything needed to be just right for them. Or there was hell to pay. So being a child was not big fun fest. When I was a teen it was the same thing. The adults got the nice stuff the kids still got the left overs. I had to be polite to them while they could tell me my skin was bad or I was fat or any number of rude remarks. Inside I vowed to not be such a nasty adult. So I am not.

Now I made a huge faux pas of being kind, and, as my motto is no good deed goes unpunished I am being punished for my kindness and generous spirit I have despite of how I was treated as a child and the “role” models I had.

For a while I was successful in having the nice things first, then of course the Boss gets the nice things...employees get what the little boy shot at….zip.

Now I have an Old One living with me since I could not keep my niceness to my freaking self.
I do not get a seat in the sun, I do not get the room comfortable for me. I do get to hear the endless complaints on how nothing is as nice as when she was younger….lucky her! She lived a life where she never had to care for another or even be polite to others. She was foot loose and fancy free. Go to her house and you could starve to death before she would offer tea. We always ate before we visited since we knew there would be no refreshments after our 5 hour drive to visit. I hated those visits. But I was the child and she the adult so I learned how to sit quietly and wait for my turn. Mostly she would send me out to pull weeds in her garden. All those vegetables and not one of the dozen ripe ones would she offer. Her freezer was full of meat. It would be thrown out from freezer burn before she would cook and serve it to others.
She is now Old. She was being mistreated by those who were “caring” for her. She was a very generous person to non family members. Her neighbors would get those lovely tomatoes and squash and other nice ripe things. They would throw most of them out since she grew too much. We never took home anything from her...after all a five hour ride would wilt the produce….
Now she lives with me since she is Old. No one would come to take her. I was still my moral self, I have no religion or god watching me so I do these good things because they are the right thing to do. The religious relations could not be bothered with her.

I treat her well. I feed her well. I see to her every need since she is Old. I will get no heavenly reward I will get little in return except the satisfaction of doing the right thing.

But now I am not happy since I do not have a seat in the sun. I do not get the choice morsel to complain about, the fresh sheets to tug at because they are wrong….can’t tell me what it the problem since she never had to explain herself to anyone.
She never gave me anything. I hated gardening until I was 40. Yet I took her in because it was the right thing to do. It is still the right thing. And I will not change how I treat her because I am honorable to myself and know how a memory of bad behavior can sting for a lifetime. Maybe someday I will have the seat in the sun before I am Old. I know she always had the choicest of everything since she was 16. Now 80 years later she has hardened into the taking machine full of greed and she has such a greed for life. I guess that is why she will be 97 in 19 days.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

I HATE DIRECT TV AND ALL IT REPRESENTS


I wanted to watch the Olympics today, I have Direct TV and a bazillions stations so I thought I would enjoy the events. WRONG. Even though I pay through the nose for DirectTV I got NO station that has the Olympics...unless I want to pay more.
I gave up counting after 17 porno stations and 30 all day paid programming( read as infomercials all day all night) 20 stations with reruns and half of those have the SAME programs to boot.
SO I hate cable TV it is all cable to me little dish on the roof or not. These are not nice companies. First Direct TV takes off the weather channel...one station I did enjoy and put this godawful droning Weathernation in its place as good enough for us slobs who have cable. The Weathernation never has my area weather ever! So I feel blind about the coming storms here and I have an Old One(96) who I need to take to the doctor and provide for her comfort and safety.
I want to cancel the cable all together but she watches it. So I am held hostage by Direct TV and my duty to the Old One. And I hate Direct TV since they are rude on the phone, and do not give me value for the money I pay each month, Yes I get 100 station but over 55 are porn or informercials, 3 are the local ( a 100 miles away from me) and 2 get watched more or less. The rest are rerun stations of shows I do not want to see anymore or reality TV( even HGTV is a reality TV station now).
I hate wasting money! I hate not watching something that is costing me money I can spend elsewhere! I hate DirectTV for not ever giving me value for my hard earned money. Go ahead and laugh at me but I am not a pod person that relishes the garbage on the television. It could have been such a useful tool to learn and see the world from my living room. But when the history channel has reality TV shows about pawn shops I know that civilization is a sham and the people who watch this stuff are pathetic. The world is devolving right before my eyes.
I need to wash myself after having Direct TV on it is that nasty.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Winter Madness

I am not normally calm when things surprise me an unpleasant way. As my second cousins posted “I am Russian I don’t do Calm”, but I can calm down however it takes some time to reassess and calm down. The other ethnic parts of me are French and Irish so no one does calm!
I need to rant about food. I have decided to use more dried vegetables and some people( the Old One comes to mind) are all about fresh. Well I need to fuss.
I had two beautiful Onions to use in a recipe tonight. The Old One loves onions, lots and lots of onions. Every freaking bag of onions or individually chosen onions I have bought in two years have been bad. Out of five pounds of onions fully half are spoiled the day I buy and cut them open. The onions( makes no difference if they are purple, white, or yellow) look beautiful on the outside the skins are dry like a good fresh onion should be. BUT cut them open and they are rotten inside...pre spoiled!
So the five pounds I need for onion soup are barely three pounds of eatable onions after I cut through them. That makes me crazy, frustrated and angry that the price I pay for garbage comes from a finite source of money. I wasted $5 dollars….and that is a lot of money for this peasant. I just needed the two big beautiful onions for tonight. I got one!
So I will defend my use of the bulk dried vegetables that I buy, yes they are not as “nice” as fresh onions but I do not get to buy nice fresh onions, I get to buy onions that are spoiled inside and looks beautiful outside.
So much for the fresh food movement all the rich folks tout!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Other Side of the Care Giver

When I invited my 97(at the time 95) year old Aunt to come and live with me, I knew there would be some adjustments on both sides. Over all the experience is nice and I am happy. However there are a few places that are like a rock in a hiking boot. Neither is cause by the Old One but by my own personality and lifestyle.
I am a morning person who can wake up all bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6am. Her idea of morning is 10:30am.

I am a radical progressive liberal. She is FOX republican.

I like a cool house, to wear sweaters and feel a bit chilly after living in hell for so many years, she likes to be in Hawaii in thin clothes and wants the air to feel like her skin temperature.

I am a vegetarian and she is a "meat hound" as she describes herself.

She loves Direct TV and I hate, loathe, and despise all things cable TV and broadcast TV.

So when one of the things I do not like starts to get on my nerves I need to vent and here is best.
I tried to eat what I prepared for her meals since when she moved here with me I was exhausted from my own relocation and the trip to California to bring her to Maine where I relocated to. The round trip air travel caused me a lot of health problems. And I let the Direct TV be set up on the TVs.
I do get up early still but the time I have I enjoy the only thing I hit my speed when she is ready to be tended to and I stop to tend to her breakfast, her newspaper and making her chair and room comfortable. Takes about an hour on me to make her coffee just right and try to scramble her eggs correctly. I was drinking coffee with her but noticed it was making me edgy and nervous so I am back on tea which I prefer. She likes tea but only if it is brewed from loose tea and served in a china cup and saucer. Oh and it needs to be brewed in a china teapot for 5 minutes only, too.
I throw a bag of King Cole in my mug and let it sit until it gets to be the right color and then pop out the bag since it is good for 2 cups.
I tired eating meat for nearly a year and it was not easy. At first it was OK. I can't abide poultry at all. However, late last year I had to call it quits on the meat. I was being grossed out everyday and the mental anguish was brutal. For the last 6 to 8 weeks before I quite completely I was giving my meat to the cats. They miss that a lot!
So I am happily a vegan-ish vegetarian again. I feel better and eat a bigger variety of food again. The Old One eats vegetarian too at times but does not know it since I use TVP beefy crumbles for the spaghetti sauce, for the taco filling, for the tamale pie. And for the hulupse casserole.

So the latest thing that has sent me over the bend is the Direct TV. I am paying for 100s of stations of garbage. I found 3 that I like: The Weather Channel, TCM, and Sonic Tap New Age Music. I try the others once in a while and regret trying them in about 3 minutes. The HGTV station is meant to make people want HIGH END everything and promote stainless steel for the masses and granite as the only counter top material. I have never seen so many "reality" shows in my life. Every station seems to have their share and some stations, like HGTV, is 100% reality show format. Where is Christopher Lowell when I need him? So I listen to the Weather channel to get the local report for here in Maine, watch old movies when they are not re-showing the same ones 6 times in 3 weeks, and I listen to the New Age Music. I have it on since I pay a lot of money for the "privilege" of having the Direct TV and I hate to waste money on something I can not use.
So this morning one third of the stations I use on Direct TV is gone. I tried the brand X station they substituted and I ask when does my local weather come on....in an hour never!
I have a lot of other things that tax my patience but they are here Old One or not.
My head hurts from the warm house, I need another cup of tea she will be down soon.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Gemini Ice Storm

I pulled up my big girl panties, put on my llBean boots and ice cleats. Took a snow shovel, the ice scraper, car keys. I then shoveled down the back deck stairs. Bashing and cracking the thick crust of ice the had encased the powder snow. In some places the ice was 2 inches thick. This is one time being "weighty" helps. With cleats on boots I could break through the ice sheets and tread on snow. I crunched through the back dooryard until I found the car. The sun is shining and the back window was clean. I unlocked the car door and it opened like it was not entombed in crystal ice. I then slid into the car and started it. No doubt Toyota is a nice car. I did get stuck though. My cleats lodged in the carpet and my knee was wedged under the steering wheel. My cleats fell off the boot that was still out side on the ice. Ice is slick, slippery, no forgiveness for the sole of an uncleated boot. I was stuck! I was swearing, then I was laughing. MY GOD I was so funny! The car was on and I turned the CD on and the air was blowing and the defrost was on. I managed to work my stuck cleated booted foot so I could move enough to get off my hip and on my butt. I was successful. I took the cleats off & closed the car door. I saw the most amazing event. The ice melt under the layer of ice ---as thick as a pane of glass--- was moving and began to float the ice sheet on my window. I got out after putting the cleats back on since the ice on the ground was a skating rink, I chipped chipped a bit and within an hour I was able to move the whole ice sheet and break it off the window. I clean a bit off the head lights. Once the car was drivable I drove to the front yard. It is not parked for the Old One to get in the front seat but I need gas anyway and she can ride in the back seat to the gas station. I have the wipers freed up and it is 17 degrees F (-8C).
I did not hurt myself, I did not twist a knee or ankle. I did not fall. It is a good day. I hope the gas station has power tomorrow! Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Real conversation in NY between Pakistani/Indian prime ministers.

By Abdul Qudus humorist writer
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>Sharif: Hello dehati aurat(village woman) how are you ? Manmohan: Hello chubby, the toady of Zia the hick, what is aurat ? Sharif: Oh, you know matiar(Woman in Punjabi), but our ISI goofed off ! Matiars do not have beard and turbans. By the way who gave you this turban, our Talibans must have made a mistake. Manmohan: Just like Talibans I like turban, but I do not like black & white, I prefer blue. Sharif: Oh, I see; can we talk about some business, like Kashmir ? Manmohan: Of course, yes we banyas(hindu businessmen) like business, I assume you are telling me you have decided to accept us as your most favorite business partner. Sharif: Not that yet, I was talking about Kashmir. Manmohan: Oh, Mian Jee you are such a charming joker ! But for a young man your memory is not good. Sharif: What do you mean Sardar Jee ? Manmohan: Pssssss, I am not a real Sardar Jee, this turban and beard is a disguise to show the world we respect & treat our minorities equally well. Sharif: OK, ok, I did not get your point about my memory. Manmohan: Oh, Mian saheb no one told you Kashmir was sold by Britons to Raja(my great great granduncle) for 45 00,000.00 rupees. Sharif: Now I remember in my school an old teacher told us that, he also said Kashmiris were also sold with the land. But how Civilized Britons could have sold Kashmiris too, I thought they abolished slavery long time ago. Manmohan: Oh, Mian saheb you make me laugh, Kashmiris were not sold as slaves, they were part of the package deal, they are called surfs. Sharif: So what are surfs ? Manmohan: My poor dear, I can not teach you the Russian history; you better get a crash course in history from a professor from Jinnah university. Sharif: Do you mean Quaid-e-Azam university ? Manmohan: Yes, that one, he was not really a Quaid(leader), otherwise you would be following him. Sharif: Then you think it is not an issue ? Manmohan: You got it chap. Listen I got to go, I have to report this to Sonia & her cohorts, you know I am just a show boy. Sharif: Just like that ? Manmohan: Yes, and please bring the handover papers of what you call AJK (Pakistani Kashmir).
Sharif: But, but.... Manmohan: No but, but.... just be an honest Muslim and give our land back to us, our official western boundary is River Indus. Sharif: Thank you for being so open minded, and understanding...... Manmohan: Any time my boy, we have some other issues to resolve too. Sharif: Alright sir, I will go and talk to ISI and Talibans, they are the rulers of Pakistan, I am just the figurehead. Manmohan: We know that, we have been paying them for quite sometime, bye.... Sharif: Bye, thank you for enlightening me.
to be continued.