I HATE DIRECT TV AND ALL IT REPRESENTS

I wanted to watch the Olympics today, I have Direct TV and a bazillions stations so I thought I would enjoy the events. WRONG. Even though I pay through the nose for DirectTV I got NO station that has the Olympics...unless I want to pay more.
I gave up counting after 17 porno stations and 30 all day paid programming( read as infomercials all day all night) 20 stations with reruns and half of those have the SAME programs to boot.
SO I hate cable TV it is all cable to me little dish on the roof or not. These are not nice companies. First Direct TV takes off the weather channel...one station I did enjoy and put this godawful droning Weathernation in its place as good enough for us slobs who have cable. The Weathernation never has my area weather ever! So I feel blind about the coming storms here and I have an Old One(96) who I need to take to the doctor and provide for her comfort and safety.
I want to cancel the cable all together but she watches it. So I am held hostage by Direct TV and my duty to the Old One. And I hate Direct TV since they are rude on the phone, and do not give me value for the money I pay each month, Yes I get 100 station but over 55 are porn or informercials, 3 are the local ( a 100 miles away from me) and 2 get watched more or less. The rest are rerun stations of shows I do not want to see anymore or reality TV( even HGTV is a reality TV station now).
I hate wasting money! I hate not watching something that is costing me money I can spend elsewhere! I hate DirectTV for not ever giving me value for my hard earned money. Go ahead and laugh at me but I am not a pod person that relishes the garbage on the television. It could have been such a useful tool to learn and see the world from my living room. But when the history channel has reality TV shows about pawn shops I know that civilization is a sham and the people who watch this stuff are pathetic. The world is devolving right before my eyes.
I need to wash myself after having Direct TV on it is that nasty.

Winter Madness

I am not normally calm when things surprise me an unpleasant way. As my second cousins posted “I am Russian I don’t do Calm”, but I can calm down however it takes some time to reassess and calm down. The other ethnic parts of me are French and Irish so no one does calm!
I need to rant about food. I have decided to use more dried vegetables and some people( the Old One comes to mind) are all about fresh. Well I need to fuss.
I had two beautiful Onions to use in a recipe tonight. The Old One loves onions, lots and lots of onions. Every freaking bag of onions or individually chosen onions I have bought in two years have been bad. Out of five pounds of onions fully half are spoiled the day I buy and cut them open. The onions( makes no difference if they are purple, white, or yellow) look beautiful on the outside the skins are dry like a good fresh onion should be. BUT cut them open and they are rotten inside...pre spoiled!
So the five pounds I need for onion soup are barely three pounds of eatable onions after I cut through them. That makes me crazy, frustrated and angry that the price I pay for garbage comes from a finite source of money. I wasted $5 dollars….and that is a lot of money for this peasant. I just needed the two big beautiful onions for tonight. I got one!
So I will defend my use of the bulk dried vegetables that I buy, yes they are not as “nice” as fresh onions but I do not get to buy nice fresh onions, I get to buy onions that are spoiled inside and looks beautiful outside.
So much for the fresh food movement all the rich folks tout!

The Other Side of the Care Giver

When I invited my 97(at the time 95) year old Aunt to come and live with me, I knew there would be some adjustments on both sides. Over all the experience is nice and I am happy. However there are a few places that are like a rock in a hiking boot. Neither is cause by the Old One but by my own personality and lifestyle.
I am a morning person who can wake up all bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6am. Her idea of morning is 10:30am.

I am a radical progressive liberal. She is FOX republican.

I like a cool house, to wear sweaters and feel a bit chilly after living in hell for so many years, she likes to be in Hawaii in thin clothes and wants the air to feel like her skin temperature.

I am a vegetarian and she is a "meat hound" as she describes herself.

She loves Direct TV and I hate, loathe, and despise all things cable TV and broadcast TV.

So when one of the things I do not like starts to get on my nerves I need to vent and here is best.
I tried to eat what I prepared for her meals since when she moved here with me I was exhausted from my own relocation and the trip to California to bring her to Maine where I relocated to. The round trip air travel caused me a lot of health problems. And I let the Direct TV be set up on the TVs.
I do get up early still but the time I have I enjoy the only thing I hit my speed when she is ready to be tended to and I stop to tend to her breakfast, her newspaper and making her chair and room comfortable. Takes about an hour on me to make her coffee just right and try to scramble her eggs correctly. I was drinking coffee with her but noticed it was making me edgy and nervous so I am back on tea which I prefer. She likes tea but only if it is brewed from loose tea and served in a china cup and saucer. Oh and it needs to be brewed in a china teapot for 5 minutes only, too.
I throw a bag of King Cole in my mug and let it sit until it gets to be the right color and then pop out the bag since it is good for 2 cups.
I tired eating meat for nearly a year and it was not easy. At first it was OK. I can't abide poultry at all. However, late last year I had to call it quits on the meat. I was being grossed out everyday and the mental anguish was brutal. For the last 6 to 8 weeks before I quite completely I was giving my meat to the cats. They miss that a lot!
So I am happily a vegan-ish vegetarian again. I feel better and eat a bigger variety of food again. The Old One eats vegetarian too at times but does not know it since I use TVP beefy crumbles for the spaghetti sauce, for the taco filling, for the tamale pie. And for the hulupse casserole.

So the latest thing that has sent me over the bend is the Direct TV. I am paying for 100s of stations of garbage. I found 3 that I like: The Weather Channel, TCM, and Sonic Tap New Age Music. I try the others once in a while and regret trying them in about 3 minutes. The HGTV station is meant to make people want HIGH END everything and promote stainless steel for the masses and granite as the only counter top material. I have never seen so many "reality" shows in my life. Every station seems to have their share and some stations, like HGTV, is 100% reality show format. Where is Christopher Lowell when I need him? So I listen to the Weather channel to get the local report for here in Maine, watch old movies when they are not re-showing the same ones 6 times in 3 weeks, and I listen to the New Age Music. I have it on since I pay a lot of money for the "privilege" of having the Direct TV and I hate to waste money on something I can not use.
So this morning one third of the stations I use on Direct TV is gone. I tried the brand X station they substituted and I ask when does my local weather come on....in an hour never!
I have a lot of other things that tax my patience but they are here Old One or not.
My head hurts from the warm house, I need another cup of tea she will be down soon.

Gemini Ice Storm

I pulled up my big girl panties, put on my llBean boots and ice cleats. Took a snow shovel, the ice scraper, car keys. I then shoveled down the back deck stairs. Bashing and cracking the thick crust of ice the had encased the powder snow. In some places the ice was 2 inches thick. This is one time being "weighty" helps. With cleats on boots I could break through the ice sheets and tread on snow. I crunched through the back dooryard until I found the car. The sun is shining and the back window was clean. I unlocked the car door and it opened like it was not entombed in crystal ice. I then slid into the car and started it. No doubt Toyota is a nice car. I did get stuck though. My cleats lodged in the carpet and my knee was wedged under the steering wheel. My cleats fell off the boot that was still out side on the ice. Ice is slick, slippery, no forgiveness for the sole of an uncleated boot. I was stuck! I was swearing, then I was laughing. MY GOD I was so funny! The car was on and I turned the CD on and the air was blowing and the defrost was on. I managed to work my stuck cleated booted foot so I could move enough to get off my hip and on my butt. I was successful. I took the cleats off & closed the car door. I saw the most amazing event. The ice melt under the layer of ice ---as thick as a pane of glass--- was moving and began to float the ice sheet on my window. I got out after putting the cleats back on since the ice on the ground was a skating rink, I chipped chipped a bit and within an hour I was able to move the whole ice sheet and break it off the window. I clean a bit off the head lights. Once the car was drivable I drove to the front yard. It is not parked for the Old One to get in the front seat but I need gas anyway and she can ride in the back seat to the gas station. I have the wipers freed up and it is 17 degrees F (-8C).
I did not hurt myself, I did not twist a knee or ankle. I did not fall. It is a good day. I hope the gas station has power tomorrow! Merry Christmas.

Real conversation in NY between Pakistani/Indian prime ministers.

By Abdul Qudus humorist writer
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>Sharif: Hello dehati aurat(village woman) how are you ? Manmohan: Hello chubby, the toady of Zia the hick, what is aurat ? Sharif: Oh, you know matiar(Woman in Punjabi), but our ISI goofed off ! Matiars do not have beard and turbans. By the way who gave you this turban, our Talibans must have made a mistake. Manmohan: Just like Talibans I like turban, but I do not like black & white, I prefer blue. Sharif: Oh, I see; can we talk about some business, like Kashmir ? Manmohan: Of course, yes we banyas(hindu businessmen) like business, I assume you are telling me you have decided to accept us as your most favorite business partner. Sharif: Not that yet, I was talking about Kashmir. Manmohan: Oh, Mian Jee you are such a charming joker ! But for a young man your memory is not good. Sharif: What do you mean Sardar Jee ? Manmohan: Pssssss, I am not a real Sardar Jee, this turban and beard is a disguise to show the world we respect & treat our minorities equally well. Sharif: OK, ok, I did not get your point about my memory. Manmohan: Oh, Mian saheb no one told you Kashmir was sold by Britons to Raja(my great great granduncle) for 45 00,000.00 rupees. Sharif: Now I remember in my school an old teacher told us that, he also said Kashmiris were also sold with the land. But how Civilized Britons could have sold Kashmiris too, I thought they abolished slavery long time ago. Manmohan: Oh, Mian saheb you make me laugh, Kashmiris were not sold as slaves, they were part of the package deal, they are called surfs. Sharif: So what are surfs ? Manmohan: My poor dear, I can not teach you the Russian history; you better get a crash course in history from a professor from Jinnah university. Sharif: Do you mean Quaid-e-Azam university ? Manmohan: Yes, that one, he was not really a Quaid(leader), otherwise you would be following him. Sharif: Then you think it is not an issue ? Manmohan: You got it chap. Listen I got to go, I have to report this to Sonia & her cohorts, you know I am just a show boy. Sharif: Just like that ? Manmohan: Yes, and please bring the handover papers of what you call AJK (Pakistani Kashmir).
Sharif: But, but.... Manmohan: No but, but.... just be an honest Muslim and give our land back to us, our official western boundary is River Indus. Sharif: Thank you for being so open minded, and understanding...... Manmohan: Any time my boy, we have some other issues to resolve too. Sharif: Alright sir, I will go and talk to ISI and Talibans, they are the rulers of Pakistan, I am just the figurehead. Manmohan: We know that, we have been paying them for quite sometime, bye.... Sharif: Bye, thank you for enlightening me.
to be continued.

Welcome all my Friends to the Show that Never Ends

I walked away from religion when I realized all I was wanting was just a little normal and not so much tragic, not so much horrible...I got tired for thanking god for something bad not happening...for then thanking god for not making the bad even worse. It was then I realized how nasty this god was if that was the best I could hope for with all my devotions and prayers.

I was pious and devout. I was not a fanatic but a quiet religious person...for decades I felt a contentment in the ritual that I embraced as not empty but full of the wonder of god. Until a small cat suffered and died for no reason except god willed it. I thought it was the will of god....then I thought....and thought some more that if this was the will of god this god was some nasty piece of work.

One day during a prayer I head myself begging this nasty being to allow me some comfort in my hours of real suffering. Just a moment of peace to abate the fears. Just a feeling of peace to enter this torment. Nothing. I knew then that it was not that god was nasty. The simply was no god to hear. Or maybe god could not help me then what was the use....then I was back to a nasty god...then I settled on the Nothing. Once I embraced that concept that nothing was hearing me, that there was nothing that could influence my inner self but me( with a lot of work) I felt a huge burden lift from my heart, my stooped shoulders. There was fresh air as the door to the prison opened....the door was never locked and I just had to se the handle and open. It took s bit of time to leave the door way since I knew once I left I would never want to go back. Many had returned. But not me! If was to free myself I would do it like I did most of my life.... leave the past and never look back.
My imaginary religion was a great castle huge and beautiful safe....but there was always something sinister lurking in the courtyards.......Once I stepped through the door I walked to the meadow and the forest. I knew I was on my own. I could not ask for help. Then I laughed and said When did I ever get any help anyway?! Yes I was alone now. But had I not always been alone in the dark?
So dear friends that is how I escaped. It is hard to most people to escape. I am not bitter at those who stay but I am sorry for them but never would I encourage them to leave the castle. Most people can not endure life as a fully adult thinker responsible for all their actions and thoughts. I am now a kinder person because it is the right thing to do, not for some after death reward. I now live and relish this life since it is all I will have. I may recycle back. I am not sure of the other ideas that have invaded religions besides a god/gods/goddesses. There is no proof or anything god or not. Except what happened to me when asked for a simple thing as a moment of peace in the midsts of my storm way back when. I am content to live each day with its frustrations and troubles but I now know it is just the life and not some punishment or reward. It is easy to do the right thing and it is easy to be thankful for life each day.

Changes Back Again

Since I invited my elderly aunt to live with me when her home was taken away from her, I knew I would not ask her to become a vegetarian since she was 95. I thought she would not last the year once I saw how fragile and decrepit she was when I arrived in California to pack her up. After my own move, moving her from California to Maine, moving into a fixer upper, my own illness I would just suck it up and eat meat with her. I really thought she was a short term resident here. However she is now 96, recovered, and doing well. She is walking more, eating more, tends to her own needs like some 80 in good shape. I, on the other hand can not eat another bit of animal. So today I am making flarn (seitan) and will cook everything veg except for her meat.
I already get nauseous when I heat up her milk for cafe au lait. I kept my soy milk and use it in cooking. So it is just the meals that need to be divided. I think I can handle the extra work. I have eaten around the meat for a week or more now. To be honest eating the stuff has not brought about any longing to continue eating meat. Many former vegetarians said once they ate meat they were hooked again. Not me. I think about tofu with longing. I am trying the crockpot to simmer the flarn. I have not made it in a long time. Smells good.
It was easier for me this past year since I was exhausted with the stress of the last few years. Now it is easier to go back. Few people judged me, and if they did let them walk in my shoes. Another thing will be welcome my food budget will go down! Meat is freaking expensive! I just need to keep well so the little extra work is not hard on me. Thank goodness flarn can be frozen!